Turning Adversity into Good Fortune

The best advice I ever heard about adversity means so much to me that I memorized it – and I say it routinely at least once a week without even trying.

May I share it with you?

It came from words of my very best friend, a kind, caring and intuitive person who always insisted that …

“Adversity introduces a person to him or herself and those around them”.

How I handle adversity tells me a lot about myself.

I don’t have to be brilliant, just determined to deal with it.

We find out who are real friends are and if we’re smart, we value them in real time for their compassion to our condition or circumstances.

We don’t burden them.  We take solace that they are in our lives at this time.

No one has only good luck.

And no one has only bad luck.

It’s like a roller coaster in which we ride high sometimes and at others we plunge deeply into the abyss.  At the end of the roller coaster ride, we are happy if not invigorated that we survived it.  (Sometimes we even go back on the roller coaster to experience the same feelings again).

Adversity cannot be prevented but it can show us that we are a survivor and we have people who care for us while we’re waiting for good fortune to return.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to social media.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Choose the link below to unsubscribe.

+ Comment on this post

Rebounding from Disappointment

When we get hit with disappointment that hurts, a better way to deal with it is to actually ask ourselves the question:  what specifically am I disappointed in?

A spurned relationship could be the ostensible reason for disappointment, but the inability to find the right person may be the real reason.

When someone gets promoted and we think we deserved that promotion, is it being passed over that devastates us or is it jealousy?

Every time we count on something so much that we are devastated when it doesn’t happen or we do not get what we want, is it the actual thing that got away from us or is it that we don’t really know what we want?

There are a lot of band aids for disappointment but one way to cut it down in its tracks is to see it in a different light.

We often react to deep inner feelings rather than intellect.

This breeds fear, worry, panic and unhappiness.

Once the dust settles, I always try to step back and see the meaning for what just disappointed me.

A better relationship is probably on the way.

I will either get that promotion or go where I am appreciated more.

That when I didn’t get what I really wanted in the past, how great that actually worked out in time.

Try turning your disappointment into optimism that something good is about to happen next.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to social media.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Choose the link below to unsubscribe.

+ Comment on this post

Ego Management

The Harvard Business Review recently asked Yo-Yo Ma, one of the world’s most accomplished classical cellists, what he thought the key to fruitful collaboration was across the genres of classical, jazz, bluegrass and other musical interests he pursues.

His answer:  ego management.

Here is Yo-Yo-Ma’s secret in his own words that he has learned to say the following:

“If you think different than I do, let me put myself in your shoes and see what’s successful according to you, and then you do the same for me”.

Minds are then opened.

No need to fear differing viewpoints.

And you instantly have two potential solutions just for considering each other’s opinion.

Why are we so threatened to hear someone disagree with us?

Or to propose something we never thought of?

How many meetings have you attended where the moderator was not interested in the individual minds of those present and more interested in getting others to think like her or him?

The secret to ego management is to never forget that for everything we think, believe, would like to do or have accomplished, someone else may see it differently.

Nothing is more humbling.

Or healthier for our relationships.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to social media.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Choose the link below to unsubscribe.

+ Comment on this post
  • This is excellent, Jerry!

Managing Risks

Companies struggle with managing risks as an ongoing part of their businesses – sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

For individual who are risk averse, a warning that trying to avoid the implications of doing something new, different or even radical can sometimes be more damaging than taking chances.

Afraid to look for a new job?

Many people bury themselves in the rigors of their current job saying they have little time to look for a new challenge.   But then when their employer lays people off, they pay the full price just by trying to stay under the radar.

Afraid to end a relationship that is hurtful or unproductive? All the energy that goes into maintaining a status quo that isn’t working often is more damaging than taking a breather and starting over again (whatever that may bring).

Fear you’ll lose the love of your children if you get too aggressive in setting up and maintaining healthy boundaries? It is the opposite. Young people welcome boundaries as long as they have room to navigate and test themselves within them.

Ironically, most of the things we value in life from entertainment, music and relationships are the direct effect of people taking prudent risks so that they can grow.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to social media.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Choose the link below to unsubscribe.

+ Comment on this post

Having It All

Women are often asked if it is possible to have it all?  I guess men get that question but I have heard it more from women.

It is asked of them because even in a day of growing equality, they often work harder for less than men and continue to take on more domestic responsibilities – although that gap is changing a bit.

Many are worn out even if they are proud that they could balance everything on their shoulders.

But what does having it all mean?

A better question is:  what do you really want?

What makes life the most rewarding for you?

We all have a tendency to multitask our way through life but a better approach may be to prioritize.

What comes first?

Then what’s next?

Is there time for anything else and if so what would that be?

Having it all is only meaningful if you’re having what you really want first.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to social media.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Choose the link below to unsubscribe.

+ Comment on this post