Winning the Support of Others

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Not about you.

What’s in it for them?

Companies fail to win cooperation because they talk about only what they want not shared goals and motivations.

Some radio industry CEOs set records for using words like “I” and “me” even while referring to employees as “team” members during motivational “town hall” meetings.

Unhelpful words to eliminate from your vocabulary when your interest is gaining cooperation …

Team (when referring to the corporate kind) 

I 

Me

The most helpful word …

You 

When others see what’s in it for them, they are more likely to help you get what you want.

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Dealing With Put Downs

You help build someone up not run them down.

When people put down others, what they say is best dismissed from your mind.

The longer it lingers, the more damage the insult does.

People have a way of remembering and repeating negative input while dismissing the positive.

Think of your brain as a special place that not everyone is allowed to have direct access to.   

You decide what gets in and what doesn’t.  

No one gets to say things that you don’t allow – you’re in control as you should be after all, it is your brain. 

So when something hurtful is said, you are the firewall that either lets it ruminate and stew or rejects it outright.

The master of human relations Dale Carnegie says “don’t criticize” — period.  There is nothing good that comes from criticizing yourself or others.

Asking for positive criticism is actually asking to be put down.

There is no such thing as positive criticism.

How can I be better?  That’s the best and healthiest way toward growth.

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Panic Attacks

A sense of impending doom.

The need to escape.

Hyperventilation.

Rapid heartbeat.

Sweaty palms.

Just some of the symptoms for a panic attack that may last anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour or more.

Focus on breathing — exhaling and inhaling very slowly.  Help someone else by doing this with them.

Give yourself space.  Help others by letting them know you do not want help right now.

Concentrate on being and feeling safe.  If you help someone having a panic attack remind them you are “here for them”.

Panic attacks are very common in the interconnected world in which we live.

They can’t be argued away.

And panic attacks are no reason to be shamed.

Help by comforting someone having an attack not arguing with them or lecturing.

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Elon Musk

Elon Musk is miserable these days.

The founder of SpaceX and Tesla should have it all but he speaks publicly of depression, a nervous breakdown and the inability to sleep.

Happiness comes from realizing how fortunate you are.

A grateful person is rarely unhappy.

They find ways to see even small things – and especially small things – as reasons to be happy.

All Elon Musk’s money cannot make him happy because material things are transient flowing in and out of our lives.

Walking out of a breast care mammogram grateful for another period ahead of good health is the real currency not the amount of money in the bank.

Being poor can cause unhappiness but the pursuit of money usually causes the same feeling.

The only way to be truly rich is to be eternally grateful.

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  • Well said, Jerry. 100% agree.

  • “The only way to be truly rich is to be eternally grateful.”

    Amen.

    Another similar point of reference: the great perennial hit song sung by Porter Wagoner, Glen Campbell and many others, “A Satisfied Mind”:

    “…it’s so hard to find
    One rich man in ten
    With a satisfied mind.”

    Another winning piece, Jerry.

    Have a great day,
    Paul

Feeling Empowered

Empowerment is not bragging or exercising control over others.

We feel strong when we reach out and touch others.

Start the day by paying at least one compliment to someone else before uttering the words “I” or “me”.

Don’t look for compliments — give them. 

Compliment the person; not their looks (that’s flattery).  A compliment is only sincere when it is backed by evidence. 

Feel stronger by listening to someone else without interruption.

Let someone ahead of you in line at Starbucks.

When someone is stressed, be the one not to add to it.

When people are rude, it makes us feel angry.  But if we want to feel powerful, focusing on someone else without looking for attention in return is the first step toward empowerment.

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