Dealing With Rejection

Rejection isn’t just not getting the job or promotion you wanted.

There is something more dangerous than that.

The fear of rejection that lurks in our minds.

Strong affirmations of confidence can disable this fear of rejection that can dog us in business, personal relationships and life.

I will never fear rejection because it is a small and temporary risk to take for betting on success. 

Almost everyone who has experienced rejection has lived to overcome it.

Sports teams don’t take the field fearing a loss — even the worst teams think they have a chance to win the game on any given day. The possibility of rejection is a small price to pay for a chance to win.

The fear of something that may never happen and if it does will probably make you stronger is a waste of energy.

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The Secret of Self-Confidence

Talk to anyone who is successful in this world and you will see that they almost never rely on other people to build their self-confidence.

But for those struggling with self-esteem, it is not uncommon to see how much they are affected by the words and actions of others.

This alone is an important revelation because self-confidence comes from ourselves not from others.

Never outsource confidence.

Nurture it by being honest and authentic with yourself.

“It wasn’t easy to stand up for myself at that presentation because it was stacked against several employees, but I did it and felt good about it.”

“I’d love to meet my perfect mate, but I realize that I have to love myself in good times and bad before I ask another to do it.”

“No one succeeds 100% of the time.  Even the best baseball hitter ever, Ted Williams who batted .400, was out 60% more times than he was on base.  When I believe I will not quit, that is more important than the outcome.”

Stop looking to others for that which can and should come naturally from within.

Talk positively to yourself and you will react in kind.

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  • I’ve thought about this for years, because for me it is a life-long struggle.  These are great ideas in your article.  It takes faith to believe that I (and everyone around me) has intrinsic value … that God placed us here for a reason and with a purpose.  That we are loved by Him and are the beneficiaries of specific promises. In sales this can be hard, when our “value” fluctuates as it is measured monthly in dollars.  But I’ve come to believe that our value is fixed.  We were bought with a price.  And what an incredible price!  The death of God’s Son for our ransom.

Finding Out Who Your Friends Are

During a recent illness I discovered which friends and family members were there for me out of sincere concern.

This touched me very much and also got me to thinking.

How much of our lives do we spend with people who do not have this level of concern for us?

Among the surprises, people whom I saw as acquaintances but who acted more like friends with their outreach.

Amazed as people who one would expect a high level of concern actually showed less or none at all.

Nothing introduces you to yourself and your friends more than adversity and one of the blessings is to appreciate how nice and kind people can be even when you have not previously considered them your inner circle.

This prompts the question – should we spend our time with people who care about us the most?

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The Best Gift for a Loved One

For the person who has everything, how about giving them the gift of your time.

In our Pokémon Go world where we are all distracted by augmented reality or just the omnipresence of social media, face time one on one is a valuable commodity now.

Some ideas …

  • Sit down in close proximity face to face with another person without digital devices.  Open mouth.  Speak (and don’t forget to listen).
  • Tell a child that you are going to put your phone on the table and ask them to do the same thing as you go for a walk together free of outside distractions.
  • Tell your family you love them every night by having dinner phone-free and you take the lead.  Surveys show that parents more than even teens fight to stay tethered to their phones.  This sends a positive message.
  • In a healthy relationship with another person, you want to aim for an equal amount of time without digital distractions than with them.

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Worry

Maybe it’s the fact our world is so connected but there appears to be an outbreak of worry affecting us these days.

Forethought – the ability to look ahead is fair game.

Fear thought – worry for no good reason at all can lead to unhappy lives and terrible outcomes.

If you find yourself worrying more these days and liking it less, a few ideas …

  • A proven fact is that the majority of what we worry about never comes true and when it does, it is rarely the way we feared.  Translation:  colossal waste of time.
  • Getting the facts and weighing the facts is an effective way to stop worry in its tracks.  Worry is fueled by irrational thoughts (what if he fires me?).  So when that worried feeling starts hitting your stomach, get the facts straight (am I really going to be fired right this moment?) and weigh the facts (I don’t like this job any more than the company may like me – time to look around).
  • Let go of it – sounds hard because we rarely do it.  Set a time limit – say, today.  For today, I’m not going to spend one second worrying about my blood test that has me so concerned.  I will accept it and deal with it when I get it.  And so you will.
  • Beware of the fear of other people.  I don’t know about you but more than once I have had my worst fears underscored by a well-meaning person who fuels the flames instead of calms you down.  From now on, do not give anyone permission to inject even well-meaning concern based on their life’s experiences.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo Buscaglia.

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