A Hidden Key To Happiness

Ever wonder why a cancer patient can see life vividly even during treatment and many of us cannot.

Why we spend our valuable days chasing after things that in the end will not make one bit of difference in our happiness.

It’s good to be goal-oriented.

Life is to be lived to the fullest and goal-oriented thinking can provide us with accomplishments that feed our zest for living.

Then again, looking around for that which is already in our lives and taking full advantage of these things is a hidden key to happiness.

Hate your job?  Maybe your part-time job or avocation is begging you to choose them instead.

Disappointed by a friend?  Probably somewhere in your daily footprint is a person waiting to interact with a good person like you.

Stressed out so much it is affecting your health?  All the stress reduction books and programs in the world are not as effective as a regular walk on the beach, through the park or along some unknown vista.  Physical exercise plus time to think are two powerful bromides.

Sometimes everything you want in life is already there – in the background, under the radar or still unnoticed because of busy lives.

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When You Need a Little Extra Boost of Confidence

May I share a few of my secrets?

  1. Use a notes app on your smartphone to quickly jot down every success you have in a day – large and small.  (Examples:  from helping your daughter fall asleep after a bad dream to hitting it out of the park on your presentation).
  2. Scroll through this ever-growing list of accomplishments at least once a day – most recent accomplishments on top.  Amazingly, most people forget that which they did well and record in their brain that which they didn’t – or at least were told they didn’t.
  3. Memorize a line that I use before I make a speech:  “I’ve done it before, I can do it again”.
  4. Trying something new often brings anxiety and a loss of confidence.  The cure:  Keep track of new things that you’ve done well and review them when you are out of your comfort zone.
  5. My personal favorite:  think of the sport you like the most (it’s hockey for me).  Reflect on how every athlete wants to win every game, score a lot and be the star.  A realistic reminder that preparation breeds confidence and the best that we can do is to play hard to win but develop a sincere love for being excellent at what you do; not being perfect.

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This One Thing Makes Us Irresistible

I had a professor in college who was also a Dale Carnegie instructor.

It was my first exposure to the wonderful world of Dale Carnegie thinking.

But after class when our professor was showing apparent person centered interest in his students, he had the habit of glancing at his watch when they responded to him.

Later when I became a trained Dale Carnegie instructor, I learned that no less than Mr. Carnegie himself said don’t try using his human relations principles without being sincere about them.

Sincere person centered interest is what my friend Bruce St. James has for his KTAR audience.

I have been to lunch with him on many occasions and Bruce is always recognized for his authentic personality, voice and easygoing style.

He’s no b.s.

They ask about him, but more importantly, I have seen him always ask about them.

Even getting their names so he can mention them in social media or on the air.

No one can resist humility.

Being the fine person you are is always good enough especially if you practice treating people with person centered interested.

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When Your Career Takes a Turn for the Worse

When I was a communications student at Temple University, I was lucky enough to get my first radio job on a Philadelphia station while in school.

It was on the all-night show – midnight to 6 am six days a week — and I went to school five of those days, but I was very happy to have it.

As you can imagine, I was tired all the time.  I slept on the office chairs from 6-8 am when I got off the air, shaved in the bathroom, drove to school and slept in the late afternoon and early evening.

Then one day – or should I say in the middle of the early morning about 3am – I fell asleep on the air.  The album track that I was playing played through to the end and when I woke up horrified, there was dead air.

The next day I was fired.

The station’s program director was wide-awake and listening in.

It was devastating.

The man who fired me taught me so much – so there was that.

The money was useful but not a factor however it was getting such a good opportunity while in college and blowing it that did me in.

I know talent in broadcasting is always fired but this soon?

Turns out it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I took what little experience I had and my deep albeit untrained voice to the local television stations where I finally got a break as a booth announcer for channel six.

Why do I share this now?

The end of our world as we know it is often the beginning of better things.

Learn from unfortunate and unfair experiences.

Work your way back vigorously and expect that you will make better use of your next chance.

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  • I too was fortunate enough to get a job while still in school and, while trying to do all things at once, fell asleep while running the Country Countdown show on Sunday morning.  Same scenario, except my boss didn’t fire me….because he had done the exact same thing when he started in radio.  Lucky me.  Now, 20 years into my career, I’m glad he didn’t.

The Surprising Things Steve Jobs Wouldn’t Let His Kids Do

You might think the iconic founder of Apple would have children who are so tech savvy they cannot put their digital devices down.

Not so.

Jobs and his wife Laurene, a Stanford University trustee, would limit the amount of screen time their children were allowed to have every day.

In fact, many Silicon Valley tech execs limit their children’s screen time.

What do they know that makes them act with such certainty when many of us give in to the whims of students, the pressures of their peer groups and even the misguided direction of some early education teachers?

Here’s what they do, perhaps it is helpful or at least thought worthy:

  1. Strictly limit screen time (note that I said “strictly”).
  2. Ban use of digital devices on school nights (yes, try this at home).
  3. No screens in the bedroom under any circumstances.
  4. Define that which you will allow children to do when they are allowed screen time.
  5. Put in place what I call “analog” time for weekends where children can interact with parents, each other or have time for themselves.  I grew up in the small town of Springfield, PA where I walked to get everywhere and anywhere.  As I look back on that, the time alone helped me pass the time by using my creativity.

Screens in the back of cars and SUVs to keep children occupied should be banned.  It’s lazy parenting as is plopping kids in front of a television.

Encourage kids to look for license plates from far away states, talk to each other, play games and yes, even talk back and forth with mom and dad.

Need more motivation to get tough with screen time?

Exposure to harmful content, easily accessed pornography, social sites like SnapChat where lots of kids take nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves without their parents knowing because the site claims the pictures are self destructive 2-10 seconds after they are viewed.

There’s bullying.  Lack of sleep when young people take their phones to bed (which they do).  Social ineptitude resulting from a lack of personal contact with others.  Children under 10 are the most susceptible.

We are not doing our jobs if we allow young people to pick up the destructive habits of digital living – the same habits that may also be compromising our lives.

What did Steve Jobs’ children do instead of using the devices he invented?  A New York Times reporter recently asked Jobs’ biographer, Walter Isaacson if he knew.

“Every evening Steve made a point of having dinner at the big long table in their kitchen, discussing books, and history and a variety of things.  No one ever pulled out an iPad or computer. The kids did not seem addicted at all to devices”.

Become addicted to life with digital devices in their proper place.

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