Checkmating Our Phones

69% of a recent SureCall study says smartphone users check their phones while using the toilet (59% do it daily – check the phone in the bathroom, that is).

75% sleep with the phone on or near the bed.

These people were more likely to say they are sad.

10% check their phones during sex (43% said they checked the phone while having relations two to ten times in the past year).

Our children are wearing us down and negotiating more access to something that also has a detrimental side.

Schools are helping because iPads are a teaching aid that saves on book expenses for local municipalities.

Phones are tools to bring us information, entertainment and connectivity.

When they become our lives, a good place to start reeling it in is now.

In the past week I have taken the advice of a former Google code writer who says the main goal of app makers is to serve more and more ads.

That advice?

Use only the first two screens on your phone for apps that do not require a lot of attention – WAZE, Uber, weather, etc. not social media.

Apps requiring attention – also known as black holes like social media apps, news, YouTube – should be in a folder the way we put liquor in a cabinet so that when we open it, we know exactly what we are going to get and don’t abuse it.

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Accomplishing More

Purposeful > Positive > Progression

Purposeful – Is what we’re trying to accomplish a goal or busy work?  Do we know the reason for wanting to achieve this goal?

Positive – Will this work end in something good that has been achieved?

Progression – Are we moving step by step toward completing our goal?

Often, the things we want to accomplish are more than a short task on a list.

It has to be broken down into steps that eventually arrive at the completion of a goal.

Failure to accomplish that which we set out to do no matter how passionate we are at the beginning is because the work is so encompassing that we don’t have the time to do it all at once or in large chunks.

Successful people get on the right track and then devise a plan to chip away at what needs to be done to reach success.

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Fear of Success

Fear of failure is only half the problem.

Fear of succeeding keeps us from trying and from committing to never give up.

Success brings with it certain responsibilities that require solid self-esteem.

When we don’t believe in ourselves, we fear the success that is within reach.

We succeed more than we fail (keep a log of big things and small and confirm it).

What scares us is something new. 

To overcome that fear, go back and recall all the things you never thought you could accomplish and did.  They don’t have to be similar to the current challenge facing you.

Fear of failure is real – worrying about messing up.

Fear of success is prevalent more than we’d like to think – lacking the confidence to allow ourselves to even have the dream.

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Own It

The term “own it” doesn’t just mean owning up to shortcomings and missteps.

Own your personality quirks and all — it is as unique as your fingerprints. 

Own the moment – it’s always your decision to focus on now or get lost in the black hole of digital life.

Own up – admit mistakes quickly and clearly. 

Own your opinions – they are always available to be modified but never to be ignored or hijacked by someone with power over you.

Own your happiness – your happiness cannot be outsourced to another person or a more favorable circumstance.

It’s not always what’s wrong with you but what’s right.

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  • Amen, Mr. Del Colliano!!

Give Away Decision Making

Every once in a while let someone else make the decision without any input or coercion.

You will live and get by just fine.

But they will come alive and be so grateful that you will wonder why you didn’t share power sooner.

In meetings.

In relationships – especially in relationships – for big decisions and small.  The more you trust another, the more it comes back to you in trust.

This doesn’t mean not caring.

It means empowering others and ironically empowering you.

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