How to Turn Losing into Winning

Here’s the winning mindset:

You’re not looking to bat 1.000 because no one does and aiming for unreal perfection actually assures more failure.

Batting 1.000 in effort, now that’s doable.

No quitting.

Brush off discouragement with renewed optimism.

Invest in yourself, don’t outsource it to others.

The person who never gives up or allows discouragement eventually wins.

Stopping Negative Narratives

A coach who motivates through fear or fear of loss will not last long.

Most of us eventually become our own life coach but we often turn to negative narratives to keep going.

If I don’t (you name it), I’ll get fired.

If I can’t make her happy, she will not like me. 

If I don’t give my children everything, I am a bad parent.

Even the mere thought of failure, allows it to come in.

Staying positive is not a pep-talk.  It’s respect for ourselves.

The Fear of Being Fired

Anxiety is worrying about worry.

As an air talent, I worked for a newly-hired radio program director in Philadelphia who would fire a personality every Friday until he removed every performer he didn’t like – approximately six.

The firing schedule was by design – never more than one person a week.  Always Friday.

So, you can imagine how paranoid we all became.

One day as I reached for the front door of the station, I asked one of my fellow air talents exiting “who got fired today?”  Me, he answered.  It was that surreal.

To survive in such a toxic workplace, we needed to focus on doing our best rather than trying not to get fired.

The station failed.  Our competition adopted a more person friendly approach and they won the ratings war.

It took this toxic workplace to teach a tough lesson:  stop worrying about worry because it wouldn’t save our jobs and made us even more anxious.

The Other Side of Silence

Few of us really reveal what we mean.

You can’t make a person talk.

But you can become skilled at listening for the other side of silence.

What they are not saying that speaks volumes.

If you know someone who might like reading DayStarters, forward today’s email so they can subscribe.

To Handle a Major Disagreement

Put aside what you think and know, consider it from the other person’s point of view.

You know what you want, what do they want?

Is there anything you can give them to settle things?

A media broker told me that he orchestrated a multimillion deal only to see the both parties blow it up over a mere several thousand dollars.

Shouting, threatening, suing would not put the deal back together again but the shrewd broker met with both parties separately and emphasized that it wasn’t the few thousand dollars that threatened completion of the deal.

What was it?

He knew and got both parties to admit they hated the other person at which point the broker just said, take the money and never talk to them again.

The deal closed.

To handle a major disagreement put aside what you know and see things from the other person’s point of view.

If you know someone who might like reading DayStarters, forward today’s email so they can subscribe.