Best Marriage Advice Ever

Spend the same amount of time alone with your spouse as you do with your smartphone.

I laughed when I first heard this but I’m not laughing now.

Just go to dinner and watch two people not communicate with each other in the now.

Same is true for families as some parent is on the phone while the rest of the family eats or chats.

Imagine devoting the same amount of time we spent with our smartphones with the people we love the most.

Not just time together.

Time focused on the now – the same way we do it when we’re staring at our screens.

For most couples, the ups and downs they experience can be smoothed over by reminding each other why they got together in the first place and like it or not, it takes face time.

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Surviving a Toxic Workplace

You can get a new job.

Or wait out the people who are bringing negativity to the job you currently have and like.

You can limit your contact with negative people (unless you can’t).

Remember it is not permanent, but temporary.

Emphasize how you want to be.

The sure road to unhappiness is to try and change someone else.

Change your attitude toward negative people and keep your professionalism high.

Do not stand for abuse.  Report it.

Few work environments are perfect but it’s the way we think of ourselves that matters most.

Let no person demean or dismiss your abilities.

The best way to overcome a toxic workplace is to see yourself clothed in Teflon and watching the negative stuff roll off of you.

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Overcoming Disappointment

Keep your expectations low and motivation high and you will never be disappointed.

Expect the boss to give you a good word and you’re asking for disappointment, but that doesn’t mean work hard to excel with or without the recognition.

Stop thinking that special person for you is the next one you’re going to meet and make you that special person.

Throw the best party and have six people not even show up (or tell you they’re not coming) and no matter how many others have a great time, you are likely to be disappointed.

We can only be disappointed when we allow ourselves to expect more than we have a right to deserve.

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Missing Out On Life

If you fear living life, you run the risk of losing life.

That doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily die.

It means that when we fear living, we run the risk of losing the fun, warmth and accomplishments that come our way.

This doesn’t mean you have to jump out of an airplane (but, it could).

It means do the things that make you feel alive.

I was never one for bucket lists just to have one.  I have little interest in checking things off the list of life.

But do you want to start a business?

Meet new friends?

Become healthier?

Remarrying or starting a new relationship after a failed one?

Let go of something that is making you unhappy?

It is just as easy to program yourself to reach out and grab life’s next challenge as it is to let it pass you by out of concern for safety.

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Freedom from Smartphones

A powerful article in The New York Times recently quoted David Greenfield of the University of Connecticut School of Medicine as saying “People are carrying around a portable dopamine pump”.

Smartphones are hurting adult relationships, look at how they are hurting our children.

Common Sense Media survey:

American teens 13-18 averaged six and a half hours of screen time a day on social media and other activities such as video games.

2015 Pew study:

24% of teens between 13-17 reported being online almost all the time.

Drug use is going down as addiction to digital devices soars.

Parents are not doing their children any good by readily accepting and allowing this kind of phone use into their young lives.  And they are not doing themselves or their families any good by being on their phones constantly.

Smartphones are drugs.

Use them with care.

Shoot for as much face time with real humans as you allow yourself or your children screen time.  No exceptions.

The phone is a tool.  Turn it off.  Use it as a tool and do not adopt constant connection as a way of life if you don’t want to miss out on life.

You can’t live in the now unless you turn off your smartphone.

Constant connection is not the same as being 100% focused in the now.

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