Thing problems:

Your car broke down, you lost your job, you have to have an operation, someone broke into your house and robbed you and the worst possible scenario – your phone fell in the toilet.

People problems:

A divorce, visiting children on the weekend, having someone stab you in the back, not getting the raise and/or promotion or being shamed or bullied.

Thing problems – as bad or inconvenient as they are – are better than people problems.

People problems are the worst because there is never a tangible solution and often emotions come into play to foul up or complicate matters.

But both people problems and thing problems are solved the same way.

1. Get the facts.
2. Weight the facts.
3. Do not avoid the problem, dive in and solve it.
4. Identify your goal and pursue it.

So that broken phone, won’t work.  You’ve tested it.  And now you try to recall whether you have AppleCare or not.  You decide when you’re going to make a trip to the Apple Store to get them to fix it or replace it.  Eventually, you’re back on Instagram again.

But if you’re being bullied or fat-shamed, emotions make it harder to use the formula above that always works.

But persist.

You will channel your hurt and anger into power.  Push back against bully-shamers and commit to not avoiding this as painful as it may be but confronting it.  You identify your goal as stopping the personal abuse and reinforcing the good feelings you have about yourself.

My best friend use to say to me, “JD, thank God that’s a thing problem” at which point I learned to love flat tires or missed flights.

But people problems deserve the same well thought out plan to solve them even though they are usually complicated by emotions. 

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