Rebounding from Personal Attacks

A friend of mine, Jim Carnegie, passed away this past week.

Jimmy was a complex man with whom I had a complicated relationship but I was horrified to see an ex-employee of his rip into a dead man the way she did on the RadioInk website.

I’m not taking away from any shortcomings they may have had in their relationship with the deceased but I got the feeling that she had the need to air her dirty laundry more than the mourners, friends and family needed to hear it.

In our digital social media world, we have all been victims of personal attacks but when it is aimed at the dead before the body gets cold, you can see we have problem.

The best defense for personal attacks is not necessarily what is intuitive to us which is to hit back.

One of my media publication readers ripped me in an e-mail last week to which I agreed with him and left a phone message for him to personally hear him out.

I’m still waiting for a return call.

Personal attacks are bullying.

Here are some defenses.

  • Just because someone has hurt you the most does not mean that they are correct.  They may have issues of their own like the two examples I cited above.  Don’t make their issues your issues.
  • Reach out to the attacker and most likely they will run which will help you accept that they are just being mean and you are being open minded.
  • 9% of personal attacks do not happen live in person between two people.  It doesn’t take much courage to attack another person behind their backs so what they say is not worth considering.
  • And this is my favorite – when anyone points fingers at me, I am reminded they are also pointing several fingers back at themselves.  If you have to deal with such people, consider what their issues may be before beating yourself up.

“How people treat you is their karma.  How you react is yours” – Wayne Dyer

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