In years gone by that I would like to forget, I can remember sitting in a lawyer’s office in America’s playground, Camden, NJ, getting madder by the minute.

He was not too proud to throw red meat at me — to keep reminding me of everything the ex was trying to do in his opinion and by the time I left the office I was so worked up I forget that I should have been hoping my car wasn’t stolen in the crack capital of the state.

It was like Saul Goodman of Better Call Saul TV fame.

Animosity comes with the breakdown of relationships – and it doesn’t just take lawyers to feed the monster, often relatives and close friends do it in their attempt to be supportive.

Divorce or breaking up with a former loved one is not a game with winners and losers even if the courts and the laws lose sight of the children who are often the victims.

There is a lot on the line – money, houses, children, hurt feelings, rejection, unresolved anger.

Fast forward years down the road and it’s interesting that both sides of a breakup usually move on – some even happily – and life goes on for all.

Neither partner is the villain.

My daughter’s favorite chapter in my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages is the one on divorce in which I conclude that out of bad marriages come good people.

Sometimes we’re not the right partners, sometimes it’s not the right time and sometimes we can do great things like bring beautiful children into the world.

Even if the system makes it difficult, divorce is about healing and future chances to make life right for the parties involved.

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