Ever use the phrase, “I hear you”?

Take it to the next level.

Listen to what others are not saying.  The thing you didn’t hear.

Often people say what others want to hear or what is appropriate at the time.  Sometimes, we don’t feel comfortable sharing things that turn out to be critical to be properly understood.

That’s why the little known communication skill we should acquire is to listen to the other side of silence.

Try it today.

First listen (and that can be a major breakthrough because when we think about communication between individuals we often think of speaking not listening).

Then, look for the possibilities that the other person is not articulating.

If someone tells you that they are fed up with their girlfriend, boyfriend or mate, listen for what’s not being said (i.e., “I’m scared to leave and start over”).

If you hear, “I can’t stand this job” you might listen for what may not be said which could be “I have lost my confidence to do the job”.

And even if someone close to you says, “We never agree on anything anymore” listen for what may be hiding in the statement (i.e., “You don’t listen to me”).

“One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people” – John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

Subscribe   • Read Jerry’s book • More stories  • Talk to Jerry