Before you can get what you want, you have to know what the other person wants.

No one is motivated to do anything for us just because we want it.

It is far more effective and actually more humane to spend lots of time getting to all the little details of what they want first.

The road to getting what you want passes through giving the other person something that they want, too.

If this isn’t done sincerely, then it can be seen as manipulation.

The most effective person I know (and very wealthy at that), makes it an ongoing practice to understand what drives the person on the other side of an agreement.

The number of times deals fall apart because people argue over petty things is great.  Even when the tough issues are resolved, little issues (but important to one party) can scuttle an agreement.

Ask who, what, where, when, why and how before asking something of another person.

Look for things you can give them, if they can find a way to give you what you’re asking. 

Getting what you want without giving up something important to the other person will backfire.  

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