When we’ve been hurt, it is understandable that it may take some time to put that hurt behind us.

Some people eventually do.

Some don’t.

The ones who don’t turn into the same person who hurt them in the first place when they hang on to the vitriol of being the victim as justified as it may be.

To be sure, we forgive others for our own sake not for the others.

The animosity of a divorce or child custody battle, an insult, a betrayal, a hurtful deed or lie – these things can make us crazy.

Forgiveness for one’s own sake is a freeing thing.

But forgiving does not necessarily mean forgetting.  Two benefits of not forgetting are to remember that this person hurt us in some way and the other is to keep in mind what the deed was so we can remain on the lookout for it in others.

Minnesota Wild hockey player Dany Heatley was deemed responsible for a car accident that killed his friend and then former Atlanta Thrasher’s teammate Dan Snyder in 2003.

But Snyder’s family was very supportive of their son’s friend and told prosecutors and the judge that nothing could be gained by putting Heatly in prison.  The judge listened to the family.

If the family of a son with so much promise who was killed in an irresponsible act of driving recklessly can forgive the driver, what’s our problem?

“We are all human beings and we know that humans make mistakes.  We do not lay the blame on Dany Heatley for the accident that took our son from us.  Forgiveness is also a part of being human and we know that there is nothing to gain from harboring resentment and anger toward others” – Graham Snyder

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