- Also emphasize the gain. The years you spent with your loved one before they passed. Things you have learned from them. Magic moments. The good times with a friend before you broke up.
- Keep great memories alive. Pictures, routines, special moments. I remember my mother every time I touch garlic – after all, an Italian mom cooks everything with garlic and this branch didn’t fall far from the tree.
- Find a quality in the person you lost and make it live on through you. If she was the type who never complained, adopt her good quality and try to make it live through your daily actions. That’s a powerful way for the departed to live on.
- Recognize that there are powerful losses other than death. Divorce is one. Being separated from your children. Another broken relationship that you had high hopes for. The career that hit a bump in the road – after all, many of us identify ourselves by the work we do instead of the things we stand for.
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Comment on Dealing With Loss
Every one of these touches me. It's too easy to carte blanche disregard the good when we are cut off and betrayed by a friend or mate. December is especially rough as anniversary dates of four family members lost in death. Sometimes it's difficult to smile through tears. Sometimes it just takes the passing of time to let the good override the sadness and despair.