Caring Too Much

Is this you?

Seemingly caring more about things and people than perhaps those around you.

People who care about others have a special gift but also a vulnerability.

Some people cannot return the feeling and others may see it as weakness.

The best policy is always try to be the person you want to be.

Start each day with a blank canvas and use your gifts and talents to create the best, different day you can come up with.

As far as people who care too much, we must also be people who care a lot about ourselves.

Do we have healthy boundaries?

Do we tolerate abuse from others?

Caring too much is a wonderful attribute if it also applies to how you feel about yourself.

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Happiness & Success

What comes first – happiness or success?

Psychologists’ offices are filled with successful people who are not happy.

Happiness is a goal unto itself.

Once happiness is accomplished, success follows.

It rarely if ever works the other way around.

Being happy requires the type of commitment that most “successful” people seem willing to make to their careers.  The sacrifice.  The hours.  The frustrations.  And postponed gratification.

What makes you happy?

How much of your day is devoted to things that don’t contribute to your happiness?

Once you have a better idea of the types of things – major or simple – that bring you happiness, then you are likely to also be on the road to success in other areas of your life.

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Following Your Dreams

If dreams alone counted, everyone would be a success.

But dreams and schemes that do not have a plan do not have a chance.

Study effective people and you find that they have an innate ability to take their desires and put together a plan of action.

Talk to them and find out that often that plan changes – sometimes in the middle of being enacted but they always start with a plan.

What gets done first?

What does it look like?

What steps must follow?

Who will help?

What resources are needed?

Big dreamers who get to realize their dreams are also big planners.

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New Way to Deal With Failure

We wouldn’t start playing a softball game by first saying “I probably won’t win”.

That’s the wrong message.

We’d probably say “we’re going to win” or “we’re going to have fun” or simply “play ball” and see what happens.

When preparing a presentation, how often have you heard “I hate to speak to groups”? Just how well do you think that will go?

The way we talk to ourselves is even more important than the way others speak to us.

Too often we send messages of impending failure.

From now on at the very least, buck yourself up. Say something promising.

I will do my best to make this talk valuable.

I will have fun with the person I am meeting for the first time at dinner by being me 100% and not someone else.

Talk yourself up, don’t run yourself down.

And don’t look for someone else to do this.

It’s your job and the road to success.

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Dealing with Distracted People

There is no end to evidence that people are burying their faces in their phones and altering the course of their happiness.

At dinner with one of my readers recently, he shared that he was pulling out his phone just to show me pictures not to check his messages.  “I know you don’t like phones at dinner”.

I’ll take it.

All of us can establish the ground rules that we want to live by simply by living them.

When someone pulls out their phone while they are talking to you, stop talking.

If they say “I can multitask”, say nothing until you get their attention back.

If they leave their phone on the table or hold it in their hand, you can’t make them stop, but you don’t have to participate in and encourage more distraction.

I saw a woman sitting with three couples at dinner remove her phone from the table and put in on the bench seat she was in checking it every so often to check messages and even to respond while her companions talked.

We can’t control others’ addiction to their distracting devices but by example, we can get them to pay attention by the way we act.

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