Beating Yourself Up

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we allow others direct access to our psyche to say unedited things that could be hurtful?

Then why do we repeat them over and over as if they were true?

And why do we invite others to continue berating us when it is so easy to say – STOP.

People become co-dependent to others when they allow them to say hurtful things as if they are to be accepted as the truth.

Most people beat themselves up because they have a lack of self-confidence or self-respect that acts as a protective barrier.

Never let anyone have direct access to your mind – even with good things because should they someday take them away, you remain damaged.

Beating yourself up can be replaced by talking yourself up by taking control.

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Rejection

If you’re human, you will experience rejection.

The question is how can you absorb the sting of being rejected?

  1. Don’t take rejection personally. That power remains with you.  If you refuse to make the feeling of being rebuffed about you as a person, it is easier to prevent damage to your ego.
  2. Remind yourself that even the most successful and respected people have been rejected –  some of them publicly.  Steve Jobs had Apple Computer stolen away from him by the man he hired to run it.  Jobs returned and until his death the rest is history.
  3. Being rejected and overcoming it makes you a better person to manage others because you are sensitive to it.
  4. Have the attitude of a baseball player who just struck out– I’ll do better next time.

Rejection is not permanent unless you choose to make it so.

It’s just a bump in the road that eventually makes you a better person for dealing with it and overcoming it.

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The iPhone Diet

If we eat all we want to, our weight gets out of control.

Drink too much?  We pay for it with our health.

Spend too much time being distracted by our phones and miss out on life.

  1. Try to avoid responding (it just keeps the black hole of distraction growing). 
  1. Never react (social media and texting makes the phone a dangerous impulse device).

  2. Don’t participate in email that angers you.  You have the power to simply end it. 
  1. Spend at least one hour every day (including workdays) away from your phone.

  2. Social media is the biggest black hole of all digital distractions luring us deeper into the lives of others.  Resist.

Phones are great tools but they are so addicting that we hold them in our hand and check them constantly looking for another jolt of adrenaline.

When your phone is in your hand even when you’re not using it, refer back to #1 above.

When your phone is out while driving, put it away.

Allstate has a simulator that it takes around to schools so that students can try to avoid accidents while driving and texting.  No one has ever succeeded.

Put the phone in its proper place and live life.

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Giving a Problem a Rest

Sometimes we need perspective.

The ability to stand back and take a look at what is troubling us.

Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy, as the Eagles sang.

When dogged by a problem that is causing anxiety, put a hold on thinking about it except for one time per week (or per day if absolutely necessary).

On Tuesday between 8pm and 8:30 you are going to have at it and wrestle with what is causing so much trouble.

Two benefits.

You are re-channeling the problem to one specific time and allowing the rest of your life to proceed without the angst.

And you are scheduling one time to take a fresh look at the thing that is making you unhappy.

The only thing worse than wrestling with a problem is doing it 24/7.

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Success

Dreams rarely turn into reality without three ingredients.

A Goal

A Plan

An Effort

Often there is a plan of action and a commitment to the work that it’s going to take to achieve the goal, but no clearly defined goal.

Or no plan but a clear dream.

And a commitment to the amount of effort and sacrifice it will take to realize the dream is either not considered or underestimated.

Success is not a fantasy.  It is a well organized, methodical approach that guarantees the necessary things get done.

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