Dreams & Ambitions

Dreams without plans are delusions.

Dreams come true when there is a path to making them happen.

Want to change careers?   

Make new friends? 

Change your lifestyle?

Improve your health?

Pursue your passion? 

Step 1 – Know yourself.  What specifically do you seek? 

Step 2 – Design a road map to get to your specific goal. 

Step 3 – Who can be of help – seek their advice not their consent.

Step 4 – Know when to give up and when to persist.

Here’s how to know.

If you can take one defeat after the other and still work through your discouragement, you are eventually going to realize your dream.

If you are discouraged, tired, no longer sure – you have still accomplished something important.

To know what you want is as important as knowing what you don’t want.

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Becoming More Empowered

The harder people try to feel stronger and more empowered – the less it seems to work.

Talk is just talk.

And taking action can sometimes be viewed as bullying or aggressive behavior.

Here’s the secret to becoming more powerful.

Be the person who gives away their power.

People are attracted to strong people who make others stronger as well.

Let someone else make the decision you were going to make.

Encourage others to recommend to you the best course of action (instead of being the one to dictate or strongly influence it).

Give the gift of your time (nothing is more appreciated than a person who is willing to listen). 

Find ways to give away your power – if you are the boss, supervise as if you were still the person that works for you.

Forgive.

Encourage.

And give credit that might belong to you to other deserving people.

I know a person who gave away most every award he received by accepting it and giving it to the person who helped him win that award.

Powerful people live a life of giving away their power not fighting for it.

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Winning the Support of Others

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Not about you.

What’s in it for them?

Companies fail to win cooperation because they talk about only what they want not shared goals and motivations.

Some radio industry CEOs set records for using words like “I” and “me” even while referring to employees as “team” members during motivational “town hall” meetings.

Unhelpful words to eliminate from your vocabulary when your interest is gaining cooperation …

Team (when referring to the corporate kind) 

I 

Me

The most helpful word …

You 

When others see what’s in it for them, they are more likely to help you get what you want.

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Dealing With Put Downs

You help build someone up not run them down.

When people put down others, what they say is best dismissed from your mind.

The longer it lingers, the more damage the insult does.

People have a way of remembering and repeating negative input while dismissing the positive.

Think of your brain as a special place that not everyone is allowed to have direct access to.   

You decide what gets in and what doesn’t.  

No one gets to say things that you don’t allow – you’re in control as you should be after all, it is your brain. 

So when something hurtful is said, you are the firewall that either lets it ruminate and stew or rejects it outright.

The master of human relations Dale Carnegie says “don’t criticize” — period.  There is nothing good that comes from criticizing yourself or others.

Asking for positive criticism is actually asking to be put down.

There is no such thing as positive criticism.

How can I be better?  That’s the best and healthiest way toward growth.

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Panic Attacks

A sense of impending doom.

The need to escape.

Hyperventilation.

Rapid heartbeat.

Sweaty palms.

Just some of the symptoms for a panic attack that may last anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour or more.

Focus on breathing — exhaling and inhaling very slowly.  Help someone else by doing this with them.

Give yourself space.  Help others by letting them know you do not want help right now.

Concentrate on being and feeling safe.  If you help someone having a panic attack remind them you are “here for them”.

Panic attacks are very common in the interconnected world in which we live.

They can’t be argued away.

And panic attacks are no reason to be shamed.

Help by comforting someone having an attack not arguing with them or lecturing.

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