Resilience

Never forget the comebacks.

Recording artists, music stars and politicians know that if you’re planning a comeback, the best way to approach it is to recall all the comebacks you’ve already had.

Did you get cut by the varsity baseball team in 11th grade only to make the team again as a senior?

This is where all the bad stuff comes back to help.

Recovering from illness.

Marrying again.

Finding a job after being fired.

Making money when you were previously fired.

Pushing back the bully.

Out of bad comes good but not only that everyone has a track record of great resilience if we will only think back to the past and use them to motivate us in the present.

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Pep Talks

These 6 steps are more inspirational than any fancy pep talk and can be delivered to others or saved for yourself.

  1. Begin with praise and sincere appreciation 
  1. Acknowledge the problem or challenge in honest and real terms 
  1. Provide help as to how to overcome the problem or challenge

  2. Remind yourself (or others) that you/they are human and sometimes get discouraged

  3. Vow to eliminate negativity 
  1. Tie your pep talk into a specific goal personal or group.

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How to Cut Your Use of Apps

Between 2014 and 2015 the average time spent on apps has increased 117%.

Apps – especially social media apps – are now the great black hole of the Internet.

Once we’re on them, we go deeper and deeper and stay buried in them.

One way to cut the use of apps for yourself and your children, a growing problem for parents today, is to organize your apps to avoid the attention black hole.

  1. Make the first 2 screens of your phone, apps that you just go in and out and use as needed (weather, news, Uber, etc.).

  2. After that use a folder for social media where Facebook, SnapChat, Twitter, Instagram and others go.  Check these on an appointment basis with time limits or else become a slave to social media that just sucks your attention in deeper and deeper.

  3. Then use your phone consciously as a tool not unconsciously for another shot of dopamine.

I must confess that even sharing these things that I have gleaned from young Internet and mobile experts made me uncomfortable especially the part about making an appointment to check social media apps.

But that’s the problem to be honest.

The phone is not the problem but using it for things that entertain and distract us has consequences.

Bite the bullet and take control.

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The Houston Floods

Just when you think the country is hopelessly divided, something bigger than politics shows up and dumps four feet of rain on millions of people.

Nothing unites more than a tragedy.

People automatically rise to the occasion and help each other above everything else including their own precarious situations.

There are two kinds of problems.

Thing problems and people problems.

The damage from a hurricane is largely a thing problem which can be fixed eventually although there is always an underlying psychological component.

People problems are worse.

The death of a loved one, loss of any kind, hurt and pain.

Out of bad comes good as we have seen in tragedies such as the recent Houston and Gulf states flooding.

When at a loss for words to grasp the evil of it all, remember the first responders.

They are the light that never goes out among humans.

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Redo Your Day

Imagine spending every morning devoted on how you can make other people your focus.

Listen to them.

Be less judgmental.

Try to offer help.

Make it about them and not you.

Then in the afternoon, spend your time introspectively making sure that you are living the life you want to live and not living someone else’s plan for you.

At night, focus on friends and family.

Greet loved ones every night as if you are just returning from a two-week business trip away from them.

Phone off – and put away.

100% attention to the people closest to you that matter most.

It’s impossible to make positive change by repeating the things that discourage it.

Wake up focused on others.

The middle of the day is for making sure you are living the life you want to live.

The night 100% present with family and or friends.

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