Friendship

There are friends and then there are friends.

Friends never have to remember to stay in touch, it happens automatically.

Friends don’t judge. 

They are never jealous. 

They handle their relationship like it is perishable because friendship is. 

Friends listen more than they speak. 

And they are always available. 

A text message is not a conversation because you cannot hear joy, sadness or fear. 

A social network is not a conversation.

I have seen endless posts by people with broken hearts publicly sharing their grief but friendship is when your main skill is to just be there for them.

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One Skill That Will Guarantee Career Success

Be a good listener.

And don’t worry, there are few really innate good listeners around.

I know only a few but they are really good.  Some have the natural ability and others acquired their skills.

In the broadcasting business where I have resided, we talk a lot and could listen more.

That’s a good first step.

Then, be able to recap conversations after you hear them to see if you can recall what the other person said.

And finally, be able to do that recap to the person you were listening to and when they confirm you got it right, you have become a great listener.

A lot of what ails us in this world is our collective inability to let the other person speak while we take mental notes.

In a self-absorbed world, the individual who can master this skill will achieve both career success and personal happiness.

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Making Better Decisions

  1. Pick from multiple choices.  Choosing the thing, person or job you like the best based on feeling alone should be a red flag.
  2. All good decisions in time.  There is often a correlation between how fast decisions are made and how good the decisions are.
  3. Avoid outsourcing your decisions to someone else (a person who is pressuring you or one you feel would make a better choice).  People who fear decision making often allow others to decide for them.
  4. Remember the Ted Williams rule.  Arguably the greatest hitter in baseball who once batted over .400 in a season still failed to reach base 60% of the time.  Making good decisions is a process not a guarantee that every decision will be perfect.  If one of the best hitters in baseball succeeded only 40% of the time and most players not even that, set more realistic goals.
  5. Learn from the bad decisions because unfortunately too many of us repeat the same mistakes.

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  • Excellent advice and info., as always, Mr. Del Colliano!!! SHARED! Thank you for these practical, actionable words of wisdom!!

Help With Obsessing

There are a lot of tips on how to stop mortgaging your happiness because of undue obsessing.

What works instantly is not to try to alter your behavior but to seek an alternate route to reducing obsessing.

Postpone the thoughts.

Train the brain to put off having to think obsessive thoughts to a certain time in the day – or night and do not exceed your obsessing time.

Tonight at 8pm until 8:30 I will obsess away.

Then, every obsessive thought gets pushed into the next day.  Same time.

Eventually you may be able to skip obsessing sessions every day and do them less frequently.

This same approach is also magic with fear and worry.

Train the brain to pick up the fear thought at a specific time later and then devote no more than 30 minutes to thinking about the fear.

This approach gives you back your life and eventually introduces a protocol for putting obsessions and worry in their place.

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How to Make a Better Life

The first and only thing is – know how to make a life, not a living.

We keep pouring all our heart and soul into making a living and shortchanging what matters most.

Money doesn’t buy happiness and we already know “money can’t buy you love”.

Do you know how much money annually earned by two members of the family is the sweet spot?

You’re not going to believe this study of 2,000 people who were questioned about their lives and then asked their income.

$70,000 a year for a working couple.

That’s an average in the U.S.  It’s higher in Hawaii and lower in other states where the cost of living is lower.

What happened when couples earned $80,000 on average?

Their happiness (self-reported in the survey) did NOT go up.

What about a lot more money, did that make a difference?

Actually, they became unhappier the more money they made.

This can’t be, but it is.

Maybe that explains why a person fighting a disease just to stay alive is often happier in that unsettling situation than healthy people who think more is better.

The way to make a better life is to not fear living.

If you do, you risk losing life and happiness.

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