Comparing Yourself to Others

Who do you admire most?

Say you could be that person.  You would still only be second best to the person you want to be.

Trying to compare ourselves with others is like taking away every gift we have that even our most admired look up to doesn’t have.

Comparing ourselves to others is so self-destructive because we are leaving ourselves with an imitation not an original.

Chances are the person you said you admired the most is an original and not an imitation.

Strive to be different and reward yourself for it.

Study the people you look up to and focus on how they overcame being the same as everyone else to become an original.
 

We compare ourselves to others when we don’t have the confidence to stand tall as the person we want to be.

There is no one like you.

Try to be aware of that today and see how it empowers you.

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Things You Can’t Control

Athletes must prepare for mid-season trades that put them and their families in precarious situations.

They may not like the thought of being traded this time of year but they have to accept it.

And that’s the thing about things you can’t control.

It’s a reminder to focus on that which you can control.

Broke your leg, can’t walk without crutches for eight weeks.  Focus on making the upper body stronger. 

Just broke up with someone close to you?  What a great time to be more available to your friends and open to making new ones.

Losing your job in a layoff that is out of your hands?  Use this as an opportunity to discover if you are on the right career path in the right industry for you. 

What is so mysterious about accepting what we can’t control?

It’s more the uncertainty of what may follow.

So the solution is to let go and get going on that which is still clearly in your hands.

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Stop Losing Confidence

There is now evidence in the study of animals that animals who are confident win and dominate more often.

It wouldn’t be surprising to learn the same thing about humans.

Except with humans we are the victims of changing momentum.

Your favorite sports team looks like it is going to win the game until out of nowhere the other side comes back and steals the victory.  It happens a lot.

We’re confident when we’re on a roll but when things start going against us – we’re human, not animals – us losing gets into our heads.

I love to remember that Ted Williams was the best hitter ever in baseball and yet he was out 60% of the time.

Maybe winning isn’t winning 100% of the time, but succeeding where it matters.

Where does it matter to you the most?

Focus on that area.

Then any success will be multiplied because it is more meaningful.

Confidence is strongest when it is based on how hard we are willing to work instead of how lucky we are feeling.

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Challenging Days

Find something to celebrate and/or appreciate on days that are challenging.

A bad day gets out of control very quickly and often gets worse once we realize we’re having one.

There is no cure for making people nicer, employers and associates more civil or family and friends appreciate you the way you’d like.

But there is one thing that works every time and it has nothing to do with people who are giving you a hard time.

It begins with us.

Once our brains are stimulated to feel that things are going south rapidly, one way to halt it is to find something or someone you appreciate.

It can even be done like this …

My boss is insensitive to how hard we work for him/her, but my spouse always seems to appreciate me. 

My ex is driving me crazy.  But thankfully I have (name them) who are always there for me. 

I’ve got the flu and I feel awful but I’ll be over it in a few days so believe it or not I am grateful that I ONLY have the flu. 

Our world is immediate.

We hit “send” in more ways than one and that is not always helpful, so when you send a message of despair on challenging days, send a second one directly to your brain finding something or someone to celebrate.

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Dealing with Digital Stress

Part 2 of a recent American Psychological Association survey just released shows 43% are constant checkers of Twitter, email, social media or all things digital.

Social media use is up from 7% in 2005 to 65% now.

If you’re 18-29, it’s 90%.

But here’s the thing.

On a ten-point scale, constant checkers report a stress level of 5.3. For everyone else it is 4.4.

Highest stressors are for those who check emails on their off time and weekends.  In France, they have an after-hour law against companies expecting employees to answer emails in their private time.

35% say they are less likely to spend time with family or friends because of social media.

How about some help here?

Set times when you’re off digital media.

Don’t multitask, an evil habit made possible by digital devices. 

Try to do tasks slower (sounds crazy, but try it once). 

Prioritize – A’s, B’s and C’s. 

Balance online social contacts with an equal amount of in-person face time.

Have an end of the day. 

Don’t sleep with a screen. 

Digital stress is not going to go away any time soon because we have become addicted to our digital devices.

But the evidence is mounting.

Time to do something about it.

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