Hurt

There are two ways to handle hurtful people.

One, try to hurt them as much as they’ve hurt you.

Two, feel sorry for them.

Why turn yourself into the very thing you hate about hurtful people and why not pity them instead?

Think thoughts such as these:

It must be awful to have to ramble on in such a hateful way.

Hurting others makes it harder for them to love and accept you.

If you said what you just said to me into a mirror, you wouldn’t like the way you look.

What happen in your life to make you this mean?

Just the few seconds it takes to show some kind of compassion to people who don’t deserve it, allows you to separate their venom from your heart and mind.

Having compassion for people who hurt us is the first step toward letting it go and enjoying your life.

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Replacing Can’t with Will

As soon as we utter the word “can’t” it’s game over.

No one ever overcomes “can’t”.

Think about it.

“Can” is a better word.

But the best word is “will”.

Will is a statement of intention.

I can’t do the presentation the boss wants goes to I can do it or best yet I WILL do it.

I WILL get that raise or I’ll find a job where I am appreciated.

I WILL be the best parent I can even though my spouse and I are now separated.

I WILL find the person who I have been looking for in life as soon as I find that person in myself. 

“Will” is the weapon to defeat “can’t” which is why we often say “she willed her way to success”.

Today, count the number of times you can replace “can’t with “will” and feel the difference.

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What Salary Should You Ask For

The system is rigged against job seekers.

They are often forced to bid against themselves for work because companies are unwilling to pay fair compensation.

In an answer to wage discrimination against women in Massachusetts, a new law will make it forbidden for applicants to be asked their previous salaries.  This should help in the battle against bidding down hiring salaries.

But how do you know what salary to ask for?

When sports stars go to arbitration, arbitrators generally compare the salaries of other players on other teams with similar skills and production.

This works for the rest of us as well.

Isolate three people who essentially do what you do on the same level of production if you are privy to that information.

Your salary sweet spot is likely to be right in the middle.

It’s not an exact science but one thing is for sure, you will stop undervaluing your salary level when you compare it to others like you.

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The Two Kinds of Problems

There are two kinds of problems.

The first is thing problems which involve salaries, locations, tangible things and circumstances.

The storm blew the roof off our house and now we have to foot the expense of fixing it.

The second is people problems in which feelings and relationships are exposed or hurt.

My wife has breast cancer and is going to have surgery, chemo and radiation treatment. 

If it is possible to be thankful for problems, be thankful for thing problems.

When dealing with people problems things are trickier because there is not necessarily a tangible solution and they drain our emotions.

Knowing the difference between thing problems and people problems helps us deal more effectively with the ups and downs in life.

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Confidence Builders

There is only one person like me on this planet.

I’ve done it before; I can do it again.

I have no right asking another person to believe in me until I am prepared to believe in myself. 

Even when things don’t work out as planned, I care.

I am proud of my successes (which I have listed one by one in order most recent first on my cellphone that I review every day).

The road to success is paved with examples of failures from which I have learned.

I am the person you want to turn to if you want to succeed. 

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