Fear of Losing

In economics, the theory of loss aversion describes our tendency to prefer avoiding losses to acquire equal gains.

Some consider losses twice as powerful in our minds as gains that explains why people hate to give up something even if they could get something equal and better.

It is why people stay in bad relationships for fear of losing what they have no matter how bad even in the hope of getting something better with someone else.

Some argue that replacing the current health care law falls into this category – fear of losing what they have even if it is far from perfect rather than the expectation of something better gained.

Overcoming the fear of losing makes you special.

An achiever because you are willing to take a prudent risk to get something better.

A new job in a different field out of your comfort zone may be better than another one like the other one in your present field.

Sitting in the first row at a meeting or event where you might ordinarily sit near the back that shows you are willing to temporarily lose your anonymity to get closer to the speaker, participate more or become actively involved.

The helpful rule that applies to the fear of losing anything is …

Do the thing you fear to do and the fear will go away from you.

What a way to build genuine self-focused confidence.

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Apple’s Actually Great Answer to Too Much Email

Steve Jobs started all the digital living we are enjoying and that sometimes also makes us miserable.

But Jobs, the inventor of iPhone, iPad and instant mobile communication, had one rule that he strictly enforced in his family.

Steve Jobs limited the amount of screen time his children could have.  Yes, the leader of the digital movement enforced balance.

Then the other day an Apple employee at the Cherry Hill, NJ store told me that store employees were not allowed to conduct business email after closing time.

You’ve heard me mention that France passed a law forbidding companies from requiring employees to do business emails after they leave work.

Almost everyone except those so lost in cyberspace that they can’t see they are ruining their lives are coming to realize that they must find a way to limit connectivity, email, texting and particularly social media to be able to enjoy their lives.

A 20-something Millennial in New York told me just a week ago that she is working very hard to come back to now and not just live on the digital devices.

Millennials are getting it, but believe it or not, many older adults and even parents are willing to let things get out of hand.

Here’s the most effective order of communication among people:

  1. Face to face, in person, 100% present and not talking about yourself.
  2.  A phone call, Skype or FaceTime with the same conditions above.
  3. An email or text to schedule the above not conduct a relationship.
  4. Social media use limited to staying in touch not a level of obsession that requires constant checking.

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Anger Rooms

There is an Atlanta-area company called The Break Room that charges a fee for people to come in and blow off steam, relieve anxiety and get rid of anger.

They reportedly did a brisk business when the Falcons lost the Super Bowl to New England where people smashed the likenesses of Tom Brady’s face and the Patriot’s logo.

It would be understandable if those rooms existed just for the rare occasion of a Super Bowl loss but they do not as people are proving they are willing to pay between $20 and $90 for a 20-minute session to relieve stress by trashing things.

For everyone else, keep the money and follow these suggestions:

Lower your expectations – keep motivation high and expectations low.

Deep breathing, relaxation, letting go always helps to lower the heart and breathing rate. 

Keep a constant reminder of gratitude in mind – the people and the things that you are grateful for because this can lessen tension. 

Exercise.  The best physically effective way to reduce stress is to get moving, workout or even walk.

Not good enough – then beat a pillow.

Our connected world brings many challenges but one of the best ways to meet them is to let go of stress, worry and pent up anger by doing things that are actually good for us.

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Don Rickles

How did Don Rickles get away with insulting people often in a brutal way and yet his targets and audiences loved him?

Between politics and the false empowerment from social media the world is full of vicious insults but these insults are despised by everyone.

Maybe it’s because Rickles also made fun of himself (“Fat Jew”) and his wife (“Likes to lie in bed, signaling ships with her jewelry”). Even his own mother didn’t avoid Rickles’ vitriol (he called her “the Jewish Patton”).

That’s it.

Rickles also made fun of himself and his own family. Off the stage he was known by actors and entertainers as a nice guy.

Politics was also a contact sport, but during the last election cycle on both sides of the spectrum insults cut deep, honesty was at a premium and according to polls, both candidates running for president had the lowest favorability ratings of any two candidates ever.

Insults characterize the way we live now.

But malice toward others is not funny unless it is used in jest and with a heavy dose of self-deprecation.

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Jason Day Leaving Golf for Mom

The world’s second best golfer on the pro tour this year, Jason Day, walked off the golf course at a tournament in Austin, TX and conceded the match.

He said his mother was diagnosed with lung cancer at the beginning of this year and it’s terminal.

His father died of cancer when he was 12 and Day said he’s going to be with his mother for her surgery to hopefully extend her life.

Because his father died when he was young, it was Day’s mother who motivated his golf game.

Many people make sacrifices for their loved ones who are ill or dying but it is less common to see a public figure who has so much money on the line to put it all aside to do the right thing.

As often is the case, when a child makes a choice like this, they got good upbringing.

We will never miss one more golf tournament or a special occasion as much as we will miss a little more time with someone we love.

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