Complainers

Nice people can be complainers, but nothing is more of a turnoff than to be in the company of someone who can find unhappiness in everything.

Many don’t even know they are doing it.

A friend recently told me how unhappy she was at work and when I suggested looking for another job, more complaints followed.

Complainers like to complain.

Life is too important to have it buzz-killed by complainers.

Let them vent for a while but when you realize you can’t get them to stop the negative talk, interrupt with a positive question.

Are you on LinkedIn?  That’s a good start and a positive move toward a better job.

But if the conversation drifts back to the negative – and it will – move on.  Stop the conversation.  Walk away.  Hang up.  End it.

Just as we have MRI evidence that our brain reacts a certain way when we’re happy, the brain can be trained to be negative and you are neither doing yourself or your friend a favor by continuing that negative behavior.

Complaints are good, they allow us to vent.

Fixation on what’s wrong changes our brain and makes it very difficult to have healthy relationships.

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The Authentic Way to Apologize

Saying “if I offended you, I am sorry” is not an adequate apology.

Saying “I’m sorry” right away as soon as you’ve offended or hurt someone and repeating it emphatically is.

Actually SAY the thing you are sorry for.

It was insensitive of me to write that on social media.  I regret it and apologize. I hope you can forgive me.

I should never have referred to your weight.  You are a beautiful person as is.  Please forgive me for forgetting that. 

These are authentic apologies because they actually say what you’re sorry for and emphasize that you are indeed sorry.

I should have consulted you before making that decision.  I was wrong.  I will try to be aware of it in the future.  I can do better.

That kind of apology actually elicits love and respect in return.

Because if you haven’t apologized a couple of times today, you aren’t human.

Humans make mistakes and apologizing is not shameful, it’s prideful.

Apologizing in a sincere and authentic way says I will be better and that’s something to always be proud of.

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4 Quick Confidence Builders

  1.  The next time you walk into a room where there are seats, go to the front and take yours. Simply acting like you have confidence to be down in front, makes you more confident.  Often, the least confident people arrogate in the back.
  1. When you get an opportunity to volunteer, be the first to say “I will”.  Words mean a lot to others and even more to our inner self.
  1. Let someone else have their way.  The act of deferring to another person shows inner strength and we are rewarded not only with a boost of self-confidence but by gratitude from others.
  1. Go one full day without saying the word “can’t”. When we stop running ourselves down, we automatically start building ourselves up.

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John Glenn

John Glenn was the first American to circle the earth in orbit in the early 1960’s when America was losing the space race to the Russians.

Much later at 77 years old, Glenn was the oldest man to ever enter space aboard the space shuttle. In between, he served almost two decades as a senator from Ohio and died recently at the age of 95 – a full life indeed.

Two things.

America needs goals and we as individuals need dreams. Too often we fantasize about our futures without realizing that we have one life and one chance to do all we can to live those dreams.

And, the lesser known story of John Glenn’s wife, Annie, who had a serious stuttering problem for almost 50 years until she came upon a program that purported to help stutterers overcome their disability.

It is said when Annie Glenn called her husband after completing the protocol, he was moved to tears. Annie Glenn then spent the rest of her life helping others deal with stuttering.

Whether our goals are in outer space or deep within ourselves, John and Annie Glenn show us that pursuing your dreams is not just rocket science.

It is the life we deserve.

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  • Hi Jerry!

    Great piece that you wrote on John Glenn!

    I’m reminded of a story about Glenn once saving the life of Red Sox slugger, Ted Williams. 

    John and Ted were Marine pilots in the same unit during the Korean War. At one point, flames shot out from Ted’s fighter jet. Major John Glenn spotted the flames, flew up beside Ted, a captain, and pointed to the sky, in effect, telling Williams to climb to a higher altitude. When Ted did so, the flames essentially extinguished themselves. John Glenn, cool under fire, did his job and saved Ted Williams’ life! John Glenn was a class act. This nation needs more people just like John Glenn.

    Ron Hurst

    PS I love your little, uh, snippets about life and work.

Your Morning Confidence Workout

Repeat after me …

I’ve done it before. I can do it again.

If I’ve never done it before, I will use an IOU from the many things I have done well in the past.

I am not afraid of failure – I will learn from it.

Assume a virtue if you have it not.

If I don’t believe in me, I don’t have the right to ask anyone else to believe in me.

Now, repeat again and again during the day.

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