Combatting Rudeness

My wife was on the phone with an Apple service rep the other day and when she asked how is your day going, she was not ready for the response.

She said she was going to Walmart just before Valentine’s Day to get her kids a card and some stuffed animals when she encountered customers in the store fighting over the stuffed animals.

Then when she was attempting to check out, she saw fighting in line that was so intimidating that she walked out without the gifts.

It’s not just Walmart, it’s getting to be everywhere as people think that it is okay to dispense with common courtesy.

This kind of thing affects our mood, our day and often the way we feel about others.

In a stressed-out world, courtesy seems to have taken a back seat.

To fight against rude people, look to the people who are not rude.   They may be the quiet ones, the unnoticed.

It is important for me not to lose hope that most people care about being nice, they are just getting pushed aside by outrageous behavior online and in person.

Perhaps you feel the same way?

For every rude person, make it a point to look around and find at least one unnoticed person who is being kind.

Changing the world begins with one person at a time.

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Longing for Likes

Think about it.

When you post a picture or comment on Instagram or Facebook, you go back and check to see how many people liked it.

If that’s not you, you are not typical according to research.

More troubling is new information that social media is forcing users to put on a façade of happiness that does not exist.  Donna Freitas’ book The Happiness Effect – How Social Media is Driving a Generation to Appear Perfect at Any Cost contains sobering examples.

This is bad for any of us but especially for young people who are vulnerable to being accepted by peers.

Social media is fine for expression and communication but no substitute for face to face friends and living in the present to discover its many wonders.

The likes that are most important are the ones we have about ourselves not the ones others vote on through social media.

I like the way I conducted myself under pressure. 

I like that I had empathy for my friend.

Even though I messed up, I like the fact that I care to be better next time.

What do you like about you and the evidence to support it.

The man or woman in the mirror is the best “like” of all.

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Hating Tiffany Trump

A few weeks back Tiffany Trump (President Trump’s daughter with Marla Maples) was reportedly shunned at New York Fashion Week.

News coverage makes it appear that Tiffany Trump wasn’t being welcomed as other fashionistas were.

Pictures emerged of how there were two seats next to her in row one at Fashion Week, a place people kill to be in the first row.  Except, they may have been snapped at an inopportune time.

Well, liberal Democrat Whoopi Goldberg had about enough of this and spoke out on The View.

Goldberg told Tiffany Trump that she would be happy to sit next to her at the next show and talk fashion not politics.

The world is sadly becoming dominated with haters and how did it get to the point where an otherwise nice person is being shamed because of her father’s politics?

Dislike the deed and not the person and you’ll stop haters dead in their tracks.

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Life Advice from a 105 Year Old Man

Robert Marchand is 105 and probably more fit than people half his age and I am writing about him not because he set the world record in one-hour cycling where you ride for 60 minutes on an indoor track.

But because he is getting fitter even as he ages.

He pedals about 17 miles.

After the age of 50, the body doesn’t usually increase its aerobic fitness, try as we may, even though people can work hard to maintain.

Doctors usually accept death decades earlier than Marchand does because he hasn’t considered it.  Example:  Marchand is convinced he can improve his performance next year when he is 106!

His fitness routine is unique. He doesn’t use a heart monitor and has an interesting mix of 20% difficult intensity to 80% light.

A simple diet.  A glass of red wine.  Very socially active.

But all of this is not the overriding message coming from a 105 year old man.

Reject limitations.

Doctors don’t know healthy living.

Be social.

Pray for great genes.

Most importantly, live going forward not looking back.

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  • All true, Jerry. My dad lived to 98 with many of the same beliefs. Like the 105 year old, he also got good genes. My dad’s top 5. 1. Move your ass (stay active). 2. Don’t get fat. 3. Hang around with people much younger than you. Children keep you really young and active. 4. Have a good doctor but never go in hospital 5. Don’t have expectations.

Change

I came across some fascinating numbers about how teams in the four major sports have done after they changed their coach in the middle of the season in terms of win percentage and if they made the playoffs:

National Hockey League      +.041  (40.7% made the playoffs)

NBA                                     +.029 (28.1% made the playoffs)

NFL & AFL                            +.074  (3.4% made the playoffs)

Major League Baseball         +.015  (4.0% made the playoffs)

(Source: Wall Street Journal/Stats LLC)

Six NHL teams even won the Stanley Cup after making a mid-season coaching change leading the Journal to write this headline: “Why Every NHL Team Should Fire Its Coach”.

So athletes respond to change and it is very likely that workers and family members also respond to hearing a different voice.

This got me to thinking not that we must fire our mothers and fathers every two to four years, but how we should think seriously about changing our messages — the way we talk, empathize and motivate others so that there isn’t just one way.

If it is human nature to respond to new voices, let’s resolve to be one of them.

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