Ways To Cut Cellphone Use

If this is something you’ve talked about but have given up on because it’s just too impossible, here are two ways that make it possible to cut cellphone usage and return to interacting with others and living 100% in the present.

1)  Download an app called Checky on your mobile device so that it can track how many times a day you checked your phone.   Then, see the average.  Set goals to cut it down.  Let the app be your report card.

2) The app Moment tracks how much you use your phone everyday.  It allows you to set limits.

3)  Check out these apps that prevent you from checking your text messages while driving – AT&T Drive Mode; CellControl.

It’s one thing to complain about living a distracted life, but when it really starts to get to you and you want to make a change, there are tools.

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The Best Time to Consider a Job Change

It’s not so much when your career path requires a change as much as it is something in your personal life says time to move on.

Birthdays.  Especially turning 40 or 50.

When we attend school reunions there are surveys that show job search increases by 16% according to a Harvard Business Review article in September.  It may be that being with others your same age makes you take another look at how far you’ve gone toward career happiness.

Any midlife crisis can prompt a job change review.

But caution:  data shows that 50% of employees who wind up staying in their present jobs and accepting a counter offer are likely to leave anyway within a year.

The best time to consider a job change is when you feel that your best abilities are not being utilized.  When your growth is impeded.  When your dreams are getting away from you.

The best excuse for remaining where you are when these feelings start to emerge is that you need an income, you have a family to support, this is not a good time.

But even the best excuse results in unhappiness that can lead to career turmoil that actually accelerates your fears.

It requires courage to change careers not excuses or counter offers.

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The Right Age to Give a Child a Cellphone

Some parents are handing out cellphones to children as young as four years old.

Children are wired differently than most adults.  They can adapt to digital devices almost as quickly as they get them in their hands.

But should they be getting a cellphone when they are a child?

The average age seems to be ten when the majority of children convince their parents they need a phone.

And parents can overcome any guilt they might have by saying “at least I can know where they are at any time and contact them”.

Baby Boomers laugh at this because they grew up without that connectivity and they would tell you they turned out just fine.

YouTube is the obsession of young people.

They use it the way their parents search Google.  This can be good or it can be bad.

The issue most important considering when buying a cellphone for your child is changing.

Many children are turning inward and becoming so distracted by their phones that they are becoming less able to socialize, an important part in growing up and assimilating with others.

Even putting in place rules that keep children disconnected from actual phone service or real texting can be damaging in this light.

They just stare at their palm and play the games or visit the sites that their parents do allow them to use.

Going forward it is not whether children need a cellphone, it is whether they need to avoid the distractions that are making our modern culture detached, unfeeling and anti-social – until they develop socially — a new and important paradigm, indeed.

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Help In Working Long Hours

The one thing people regret at the end of life is working too much and not interacting more with the people they love.

But the real world requires sacrifices at various stages of our lives.

Mouths to feed. Dreams to change. Goals to be met.

Let’s be honest. No one hands us a check to pay for expenses for the rest of our lives without having to earn it.

So working long hours is part of getting to where we want to be. It’s not something to be ashamed of unless we have no plan to balance that time in a realistic and doable way.

It’s not the numbers of “quality” hours we spend with loved ones and friends, it is the amount of time we are 100% present in their company, focused on them.

Long hours can be eventually rewarded by rewarding yourself and loved ones with more of that quality time described above.

Allow no one including yourself to make you feel guilty for putting in the hours deemed necessary to advance your career. This only makes life worse for everyone.

While it is almost impossible to have it all, we can have it better.

Better time together.

Better ways to spend the non-working hours.

Better listening skills so that those around us do not think that because we are working elsewhere we do not hear them – the number one need of almost everyone.

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Overcoming Hurt Feelings

You still have a few choices to protect yourself in a world that is increasingly insensitive to the feelings of others.

Mudslinging used to be reserved for politicians but now there are many victims including children, teens and adults who are bullied through the magic of social media.

Your choices:

  • Never let another person record directly onto that “computer chip” we call our brain.  No one gets direct access to our psyche except us.
  • Even restrict others from getting into your head with a compliment.  The safest way to accept a heartfelt compliment is to use it as more evidence to back up what you are already telling yourself.  If you’re constantly telling yourself you are a caring loving person then when someone else hands you that compliment, consider it more proof.  But when others get to say things directly to our psyche that we are not already telling ourselves, when they decide to pull it back, we tend to become co-dependent.
  • The number one way to deal with hurt feelings is to take five seconds and remind yourself that it must be awful for the person hurling insults at you to have to live with themselves.   A moment of empathy even if it is not deserved, changes the way you respond and allows you to not make it about you.

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