Loneliness

It’s odd that we can be lonely in the midst of many people or in a relationship gone wrong.

It’s more ironic that one of the best ways to deal with loneliness is to first become your own best friend.  We spend too little time tending to the business of nurturing ourselves in more meaningful ways.

Lonely people cannot find a pill to cure it, but by offering their humanity to others and asking nothing in return, the pain is incrementally less.  To crave friendship from others makes us needier and lonelier.

Happiness comes from giving your presence and not craving that of another.

Just as psychiatrists have found that focusing on gratitude relieves depression so it is that directing your friendship to others without craving it in return makes you happier.

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Talk Your Way Out of Anxiety

Anxiety is reported to be the number one problem among women and men between the ages of 19 and 35.

It’s serious stuff.

Repeat after me:

I’m worried, uneasy and nervous which makes me human 

10 deep breaths make me feel better 

My magic mantra is: “I’ve dealt with this before and I will do it again” 

Solving anxiety is not as important as owning it

99% of my fears will never come true so I am going to put them in their place 

Every fear gives me a chance to gain a new confidence – I’m not afraid 

Repeat: “Do the thing you fear to do and the fear will go away from you” 

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Being Yourself

Dress in a way that expresses your personality.

Wear humility like it is your favorite outfit.

Your quirks are someone else’s fascination. 

Being vulnerable is not a negative.  It makes you human and attractive. 

Different is the new popular. 

Confidence is best achieved by first giving a helping hand or a sympathetic ear to another. 

Your best comes out when it’s all about them and not you.

Print out and memorize.

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Feeling Left Out

Why don’t we take pleasure in putting people together?

Usually the person who keeps his or her friends to themselves is jealous and self-centered.  My friends, not yours.

The best parties are thrown by people who mix and match their acquaintances with each other.

Being left out of a meeting is a common insult at workplaces but inviting others who are not specialists in the area of discussion can be a stroke of genius.  It also promotes good will and camaraderie.

Left out of a friend’s circle can be painful because humans want to be accepted.

When families exclude, they are asking for more drama.

When friends leave other friends out of the various aspects of their life, their lives are not as rich and their friendships not as deep and rewarding.

To combat being left out, double down on including others into your world.  It is in giving that we receive the most satisfaction and help in forgetting the selfishness of others.

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Fewer Goals

Try to lose 5 pounds a week and it won’t be long before the weight loss slows down and the pounds start piling on in a day.

It’s too much too soon and it never produces a happier, healthier person over the long term.

Hit the office with grand plans to make a big difference today and don’t be surprised if you go home disappointed and demoralized tonight.

There’s so much to do, the magic is in knowing exactly what matters most.

Humans are capable of big plans but subject to too many goals.

And we thought having more goals was the answer to success at least if we read motivational books or follow TED talks.

It’s the other way around.

One goal, one focus and 100% effort is what brings success.

Our skills are best devoted to deciding what that one goal each day, each month, each year and for our one lifetime deserves our full focus.

We have enough motivation.

We have the skills.

We need to work on being more specific about that one thing that we must relentlessly pursue.

Losing one pound a week equals as much as 52 a year, quite considerable and the best chance to be maintainable.

One goal at the office that you can verbalize in a phrase – not a long sentence – is the secret to igniting our latent capabilities that bring success and happiness.

Fewer goals.  More focused goals.

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