When We Lose Our Fastball

Humans are not expected to perform any function forever at the same level as they do when they are young.

A 40-year old tennis star is working overtime to compete with a 20-year old.

A pitcher with a 90-mph fastball cannot throw those pitches as their career moves on and often needs another pitch – a slider, curveball or whatever to remain viable.

This is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.

The seller who is burned out on selling.

The manager who wants to do something entirely different.

Life is full of endless possibilities if we adopt the mindset to look for that next “pitch” that we can put in our arsenal of skills as we continue to play the game of life.

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Anxiety Breakers

Millennials 19-35 years old have a higher incidence of anxiety than any other generation, but they don’t have a monopoly on it.

If it’s getting out of hand, there are lifelines available …

  1. Consider others, but please yourself – One person cannot be all things to all people without feeling distressed.
  2. Time shift worry to a certain time one day a week– Say, Tuesday night between 7:30 and 8 pm for example.  By time shifting worry, you are not blindly ignoring it but you’re also not obsessing about it either.
  3. Let go – One of the biggest sources of anxiety is trying to maintain some control over a life that seems so out of control.  The best and only way to gain control is to give up control.  We can control ourselves.  Trying to control others is a sure ticket to unhappiness whether we like it or not.
  4. Reign in social media – Social media and even texting to groups sets up a fantasy world of expectations and perceived desires that make us miserable.  Enjoy social media like a Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar, it’s the dessert not the meal.

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People Who Can’t Love Us Back

More tears are shed and anguish generated from broken relationships.

Except that all humans have some degree of dysfunctional relationships.

One of the most painful is when we unconditionally love a person who cannot seem to return our feelings.

Withholding ours is not the answer and feeling shamed or abused by the lack of love we feel from them is a black hole of hurt feelings.

Our role is to love those who deserve it – friends, family – with all our hearts.

Expecting the same and equal love in return is exposing us to a lifetime of disappointment.

Some people are not capable of love – even to love themselves in a healthy way.

When you give love without expectations, you will find at least one important kind of love in return every time.

The love of self.

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Becoming the Person You Want to Be

We are what we spend our time becoming.

If we are devoting increasing amounts of time to social media, then we are becoming more proficient at digital connections not necessarily meaningful relationships.

If we make a demonstrable attempt to spend more time with people in person, on the phone, by Skype, we are becoming more proficient at interacting with people and appreciating the nuances of their voices and personalities in real time.

Should we find ourselves talking about others in unflattering ways, we are investing our precious capital (time) in a losing pursuit that will eventually make us become them.

But take no joy in the failings of others by remembering our own failings and we’re in the midst of an awesome self-improvement program.

If we’re obsessed with living the life we really want to live and not the life others divert us towards then the return on investment will be rich and rewarding.

When we understand that growing wealth is a direct result of pursing excellence above money, we have discovered the real secret to being rich.

How and where we spend our time tells us more about ourselves than any other indicator.

We become what we spend our time pursing for better or for worse.

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Seeing the Future

No matter how smart you are, no person can ever see even 5 years from now.

If you put yourself back to where you were 5 years ago – the place, the people, the work, your health, your ambitions, it is likely that fate had other plans.

It is better to be nimble than to be all knowing.

Harvard Business School was among the many universities that used to teach its students to do 5 year plans when they entered the business world.

But 5 years is an eternity.

Could you have known that SnapChat, the audio and video social network that allows users to destroy content after it has been viewed would be bigger than Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social medium?

It’s been only ten years since the iPhone came along so, could you have built a business plan around a world that never puts its phone down?

Could you have predicted the election of the president or the prospects for the economy?

Could you have predicted your health or that of loved ones near you in that period or the people you have lost?

Being nimble is the virtue that allows us to maximize our chances for health, wealth and happiness not futilely trying to channel Nostradamus.

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