NO and YES

No means no – it’s the best defense for protecting boundaries.

No should probably be used more often.

Yes means I agree and I will do what I have promised.

It’s easy to make a promise based on intent.  The trick is to deliver on the promise which then makes you effective.

The two most effective tools any of us have are the ability to reject or accept – that’s when we discover our hidden power.

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  • In the sales arena, no may mean “not now,” or “I can’t see the value,”or “I’m too busy.” Salesmanship begins when the client says no. What’s the why in the no? What can I do differently.

Breaking Routines

My students always sit in the same seat they become accustomed to sitting in from the first day of class.

I make the same walk to class every day.

Head to the same coffee shop on the way.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Discovery begins when we consciously disrupt our routines – even the ones we like – in the quest for new ones.

How can we expect a more interesting life when we refuse to take a few risks?

Break one routine a day and stimulate the ability to discover new and fascinating things.

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The Best Advice

The best advice is no advice at all.

When someone asks for advice, they just want you to hear them – to listen without judging or making it about you.

And be careful when youseek advice that you are just looking for a friend who will hear you out.

Advice isn’t about wisdom, it’s about the willingness to listen.

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Better Listening Skills

You learn the ability to listen.  It is rarely inherent.

As a society we all talk too much – pounding it out on digital devices, creating videos, even older adopters who have fallen in love with Facebook risk falling into the trap of making it all about them.

The secret to better relationships is better listening skills.

Without interruptions.

“Mansplaining” is the term women attribute to men who interrupt them, finish their sentences and expect to be heard above all else.

Focusing on the other person’s lips when possible or on the sound of their voice when listening remotely helps improve comprehension.

Don’t interrupt.

Don’t always add in your version of what the other person is talking about.

Try to summarize what you’re hearing (i.e., “so if I am hearing your correctly you are saying…”) 

Try to recall the most important thing you’re hearing at the end. 

The easiest thing in the world is also the most difficult – to gain the benefits of being a good listener resist the temptation to do the talking.

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Change

Embrace change.

It’s going to happen anyway.

The quickest way to become irrelevant is to push back against inevitable change because like it or not inevitable means unavoidable.

We resist and get a reputation for not being on board.

Sometimes we react and find ourselves squarely mired in the status quo.

Looking a bit further ahead, wouldn’t it be useful to be an agent of change where you could have a real say in how change comes about?

Life is a pendulum swinging from one set of values, ideas and conditions all the way to the other extreme passing through the middle.

We see it in politics and it’s available for us to respond to in critical areas of our lives.

Change is a good thing especially when we’re part of it.

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