Taking Blame

Learn to love taking the blame.

That’s what entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk says.

 “…because once I do we can work toward coming up with solutions instead of talking endlessly about the problem”.

There is nothing wrong with being human.

No one is right all the time.

Embracing being human – subject to mistakes and bad decisions – is a liberating thing.  Holding on to being right about everything is stressful and not believable.

Turn the focus toward finding solutions not more ways to prove you are right.

There is nothing wrong with being human.  No one is right all the time.

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Advice

People don’t want advice.

They want someone to listen to them without passing judgment and – and this is the hard part – without offering any solutions.

Advice is a misnomer.

It should be to listen.

Do they really want help with their divorce or a sounding board to air their frustrations and concerns?

Do they really truly want career advice or do they want to vent about the job they hate because even if you share with them a gem of wisdom, they’re likely not going to hear it or act on it.

Does the person who lost a loved one want to hear “be strong”, “they lived a long happy life” or “they’re in a better place” when there are no words to convey loss.  Just being there is the elixir that makes a difference.

The ears are more powerful than the mouth when it comes to “advising” others – it is the little-known secret of human relations.

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Better Conversations

Why do we start a conversation with a pitch to get the other person to change their mind?

It never works, but we still do it.

First, make a friend.

Help the other person open their ears and potentially their mind to what you’re saying.

Begin every conversation with a sincere compliment.

“Thanks for giving me some of your valuable time”

“There is a lot of wisdom in what you say”

“You always seem to be open to different points of view”

Or, if you know them well, a sincere personal comment.  Sincerity is key because otherwise communication is just manipulation.

You’d never consider drinking a bottle of water without first opening it and a wise person never starts a conversation without helping to get the other person to open up to receiving your message.

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Getting to Yes

Yes is not an intention, it’s a promise.

A commitment.

“Yessing someone to death” may be a dismissive way to avoid doing what you don’t like but there are other more effective ways such as saying no.

Every time we say yes consider it a promise that you will make sure to honor.

And when others say yes to us be prepared to hold them to their promise.

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The Florida School Shooting

Out of bad comes good.

I wrote a book by this name several years ago because I found that people who faced adversity also accomplished great things.

The best thing that could have happened is for no shooting to take place at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.  No injuries.  No loss of life.  But that is not the world we live in.

The next best thing is to see victims speaking and vowing to do what they can to be the last in the U.S. to ever have a shooting incident.

When they succeed, significant good will come out of a heartbreaking incident.

Adversity introduces us to ourselves and to those around us.

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