Balance Loss with Gain

Losing things in life is a bummer.

The more we lose, the unhappier we become.

It works the other way, too.

For every loss, a gain.

Empty nest?  Get that special place for the two of you.

Leaving the job you love?  Move immediately to find a new love.

Laurie Cantillo left as the successful and outstanding program director of WTOP in Washington but before accepting one of the many radio offers she received, Laurie pursued her passion – space – and took a job with NASA (She has since been promoted to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena).

What a role model!  Her son is interested in astrophysics.

For every loss of something we love, find something to gain.

Nothing is worse than the loss of enthusiasm for the next adventure in life.

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Rough Times Are Transformative

The pain of going through rough times is nothing to wish for.

But life is full of rough times and some people use challenging times to transform their lives into something better.

A broken relationship leads to an entirely new and rewarding one.

A lost job or failure to win a raise or promotion is painful but useful when the irritation can morph into something better.

A deep personal disappointment that cannot easily be shaken off can be used as a motivator that brings satisfaction.

When rough spots paralyze, they also continue to do their damage.

Pain transforms into eventual happiness when it is used as an agent of personal change and growth.

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Happiness is a Choice

Happiness just happens, right?

But it really doesn’t.

Sometimes things do happen that make us happy and we’re always chasing more of these random events.

People who are really happy are those who realize that happiness is a choice.

If you have to wait for something to come along to be happy, then you’re going to be unhappy a lot.

Even money doesn’t make us happy although we think it will.  Check with lottery winners a year or two after they got wealthy beyond their dreams.

Still unhappy with all that cash.

And when illness, loss or hard times bring us down, we can’t always reverse these things just because we don’t like them.

Happy because I have people who love me and who I love.

Happy that I survived tough times or a difficult situation.

Happy that I had the flu because it could have been worse.

Happy to lose my job, the next one changed my life (this happened to me).

Happy to come this close to losing my life because surviving it made me appreciate life even more.

As we said, happiness is a choice.

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The Future is Now

There really is no such thing as the future.

There is only now – where we can live, love and feel fulfilled.

We think of the future as a place where we can get the things we really want but nobody can see the future and anyone who lives in that space will be constantly disappointed.

The future has a way of never arriving.

Dreams are another thing – they are the desires we have that will only come if we develop a path to attaining them.

Dreams are redeemable in the present where they can be fully enjoyed.

People who live constantly for tomorrow may not realize it but tomorrow never comes.

But dream and prepare a plan to realize it and they will be enjoyed in real time.

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Be Nice or Be Quiet

In this age of social media and political directness, we have a right to stop verbal abuse.

By telling people who cannot seem to muster any human relations skills that you do not plan to be their target any longer, you are fairly saying be nice or be quiet.

It is your right.

Just because social media allows people to interact in ways that can be insulting, hurtful, embarrassing or abusive, the remedy is to set your rules.

Same goes for verbal conversations where people feel they can tread on feelings by bowling you over with some of the bravado that has become commonplace.

Philadelphia TV weather personality Cecily Tynan who also has tons of adoring fans for her meteorology as well as fashion sense, took a critic right down to the mat when the rude Facebook user started debating the appropriateness of an outfit she wore on television.

Tynan wasted no time putting that bully in place by writing “be nice or be quiet” to the delight of her other fans.

After all, it is her Facebook page and she controls her own life.

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