How to Focus

The brain works in two ways.

The default setting is one in which our minds wander.

The second is focused in an undistracted way.

Why is it increasingly hard to focus?

Too much self-absorption – the inability to be in the now 100% laser focused on something other than ourselves. 

A lack of sincere gratitude even for bad things that happen to us that will eventually become transformative.

And the absence of kindness to other people even those who may not appreciate you.

The brain can be trained.

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Anxiety That Won’t Go Away

Anxiety is a very tough condition to conquer.

Pills, therapy, meditation and many other solutions have been tried.

One additional tool is to push off anxious feelings to only certain times in the day.

Anxiety hour may be from 8 to 9 pm if you choose so when the feeling of anxiety comes over you, time shift it until the time you have reserved to deal with it.

Then for that hour and only that hour, feel free to ruminate about what is eating you but only for that hour.

Most people are surprised to find that when they time shift their worries and anxieties, they dispense with them sooner than they thought.

And free themselves up to live a fuller, less anxious life for the other 23 hours.

Anxieties don’t always go away even when problems are solved but time shifting trains us to be less obsessed and therefore happier and more productive.

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Time Spent Not on Yourself

If you make your focus talking about the other person and their interests, they will become more interested in you.

Even in the digital age of self-absorption, selfies and competing for likes and follows, no one can resist a person-centered conversation.

Conversation starters …

How are you? (being careful not to also chime in with how you are unless asked)

What do you think?

Why?

A person-centered conversation with the focus on the other person should sound like you’re doing an interview.

It is amazing how responsive people will be to anyone who masters the art of being person-centered.

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Get It Done

Nike said “Just Do It” as a means of encouraging people to participate.

“Get It Done” means for all the team planning, study and collaboration, the most successful individual will be the one who actually makes the plans happen.

That’s who you want to be.

The one who follows through.

Who doesn’t lose site of the goal.

Who seeks solutions to problems that crop up along the way.

Here are the qualities of successful people that are often underestimated:

  1. The ability to win the cooperation of others
  2. Being the one who gets the project done

As the world becomes more consolidated and even robotic, these two skills will always assure that you are in demand.

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Our Inner Critic

No words spoken by another can be as damaging as the words we repeat over and over in our head that are critical.

Success is passed over and often forgotten – even major accomplishments.

Somehow it is easier for most people to be critical of themselves than it is to be appreciative.

There is no need for an inner critic.

No way we should be our own worst enemy.

Those little voices of self-doubt that affect confidence.

Have you ever heard someone say to you, “Give me constructive criticism.”?  I want it.

A better response is: ”What do you think you’ve done well and what can you do better”.

Balance the quest for perfection with an appreciation of accomplishment.

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