Early Warning on Stress

Studies show that the mere thought of a stressful situation or event is as severe as the actual event itself.

We fear stressful situations even if they never happen to us.

  1. Obsessing is a warning sign of stress.  The problem may never happen but obsessing about it is getting too far ahead of solving it.
  1. People – especially people close to us or with whom we come in contact daily can easily transfer their anxieties to us.  Stand back if you can and look from afar on who is infecting us with their stress.
  1. Focusing on the present is the ultimate stress buster so when you get that anxious feeling be 100% present in the now and it will aid in warding off anticipated stress.

Take control of stress by putting it in its proper place.

Looking ahead is forethought.

Anxiety about the future is fear thought.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media with my permission.

Order my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

+ Comment on this post

Being a Better Friend

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Friendships that mean something are not casual hit-and-run relationships.

When we vow to stay in touch, do we?

Is it purely social or is this friendship also emotional?

Are you a part of each other’s lives or an accident of scheduling?

The Chopra Center offers this advice:

  1. Practice active listening to truly hear your friends.  Take turns being active listeners.  Being an active listener means that we don’t play “can you top this”.
  1. Call your friends to stay connected. Texting and social media is a sanitized way to connect with people you care about.  If a person isn’t worth a call, then perhaps they are not worth having as a friend.
  1. Go out of your way to make your friends feel special.  My best friend always – and I mean, always– jotted me a note after we got together even at Denny’s.

Without friends our life is relegated to Outlook, iCal, texting, social media and whatever time we can grab because life can easily get in the way but true friendships are the gifts of life.

Start spreading the love in your own authentic way.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media with my permission.

Order my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

+ Comment on this post

When It’s Time to Change Jobs

Can you recommend that your best friend come to work at your company?

If no, what is it about your employer that gives you pause?

Do you know how much you are worth on the market with your skills?

If not, do some research to find out what others with your approximate skills are earning.

If it’s less than you are presently making, ask yourself are you staying put because of the benefits?

If yes, it may be a bad reason considering your personal happiness.

Google has arguably among the best and most over the top benefits for employees and people still leave because benefits are not a good enough reason to postpone being fulfilled.

Have you been given new challenges in the past year?

If not, that will get old real fast.

Are you not looking around because you don’t have the time or because you are afraid?

If you’re afraid, welcome to the club.  We’re all in it.

One of the most compelling thoughts I ran across in the past year was the total uselessness of a company that talks a person into staying after they’ve been given another job offer.

Most of them who opt to pass on that job offer stay for no longer than a year and leave anyway no matter what concessions were offered by their employer.

The same is true with staying in a place that you’ve outgrown.

If you stay for whatever reasons, you’ll eventually go if questions like these are not answered in the affirmative.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media with my permission.

Order my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

+ Comment on this post

Battling Negative Thoughts

Allowing and accepting negative thoughts can go a long way toward conquering negativity.

Worry and repeated worry intensifies when we try to control negative thoughts.

More helpful …

  1. Accept negative thoughts.
  1. Standup to them.  Imagine what you would say to someone with your exact same situation.  Whatever you would tell them is what you should do.
  1. Nothing is gained by focusing on negative thoughts.  In fact, negativity becomes built into the brain.  It actually changes pathways as documented by MRI’s.

Negative thinking is a part of the human condition.

When it gets out of control and becomes an obsession we cannot seem to break, constantly remind yourself how worrying about your negative thoughts are helping you achieve your goals.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media with my permission.

Order my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

+ Comment on this post

The Power of Off

I’m reading The Power of Off by Nancy Colier who has a lot of good ideas on how to become less dependent on our smartphones (thanks to an article by Jane Brody in The New York Times).

46% of smartphone users say that their devices are something they can’t live without.

Most people now check their smartphones 150 times a day or every six minutes.  I am sure we would deny it.

Colier’s book has a digital detox program which is very timely for parents because we are not helping our children by making them more anti-social and removed from interaction.

  1. Differentiate between phone use that is needed such as for work, navigation or letting family members know you are okay vs. what is a habit of responding such as posting and other forms of distraction.
  1. New rule:  don’t reach for your phone while eating or spending time with family or friends.
  1. Add one thing a day that’s done without the phone.
  1. Become very conscious of what is important to you and devote more time and attention to it.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media with my permission.

Order my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

+ Comment on this post
  • Better yet, do without one entirely.

    If you return to a simple phone, for emergencies, you’ll save money and open up that vault of fresh time you had long ago. 

    For a while, you won’t know what to do with yourself. Then you’ll find more and more opportunity to interact with people face to face and share yourself with a cause/someone who needs you.