How To Focus on What’s Right, Not What’s Wrong

One of the most amazing and destructive foibles of human kind is that we seem to have an innate knack of focusing on what’s wrong in our lives rather than what is right.

Life is a constant challenge and maybe that is why we learn inadvertently to give more weight to the things that plague us.

Some experts say that excessively focusing on what’s wrong is actually a biological instinct that makes it harder for us to live in the moment.

As long as we are alive, we will experience more right than wrong.


Focusing on what’s wrong tends to add stress to our lives.

Retrain the brain to focus on the good things that happen – it is our right.

“Why not accept the right that is right and savor it” – Amit Sood

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A New Way To Show Love

Ever shop for a greeting card only to find that the words of another are not suitable for what you want to say?

Some of us express love by saying the words “I love you” and that’s great.

But there is another way – one in which your actions speak louder than those three words.

An act of love.

The father who slipped a note into the glove box of the car he bought his daughter just in case she was ever involved in an accident – a note that said “I’m not angry about any accident, I’m just happy you are okay”.

Not asking your son or daughter who got 4 A’s and one B, what the B was for.  They’ll tell you on their own and will appreciate the fact that you waited.

Two acts of kindness from you for every one act you observe in another.

Some of us are shy about saying words like “I love you”.  Providing the evidence makes it all the more meaningful.

“Actions Speak Louder Than Words”

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Down And Out

Down And Out

When things go bad, they often get worse instead of better.


This is because we are confronted with the entire dilemma all at once often making it difficult to change with one decision or in a short period of time.

In sports, when a team gets down by a considerable score, it’s almost always over.


Several years ago, the Philadelphia Flyers hockey club faced elimination from the semi-final round in The Stanley Cup Playoffs.  The Boston Bruins won three games and all they had to do was win one more to advance to the finals.

The Flyers did what only a handful of professional sports teams have ever done – come back to win a best of seven series when they were down 0-3.   Their coach, Peter Laviolette simply asked his players to win just one game.

And when they did, one turned into two.  Two into three and miraculously, they won the fourth to win the series and advance to the finals.


And that’s the secret.

When we’re down and out at work, at home, financially, in our personal lives – chip away and try to fix one thing first.


Small steps without discouragement are the way back.

“The elevator to success is out of order.  You’ll have to use the stairs one step at a time” – Joe Girard

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Dangerous Assumptions

Over the weekend a friend told me the story of a man who chased another man into a department store, pinned him to the ground and proceeded to bang his head against the floor mercilessly.

A do-gooder tried to get him to stop the beating but it continued.

He then warned the man that he had a firearm and that if he didn’t stop smashing this man’s head against the ground, that he was going to shoot him which he did and the man died.

But every picture doesn’t always tell the true story, as my friend pointed out.

Turns out the dead man was punishing the perpetrator he chased down who killed his wife and raped his young daughter.  In other words, the wrong man was shot.

We all alarmingly live our lives based on assumptions rather than fact.

A fact is something that can be observed and verified. 

Friendships are lost because of assumptions.

People are marginalized because of assumptions.

Even our own lives are lived based on what we assume we want to do for a living, who we want to be with and how we want to spend our time – not always the real reasons.

I share this story because it is fresh in my mind and hopefully will serve as a reminder of the great price we pay for acting on assumptions that we make instead of facts that we verify.

“To assume is to presume” – Jude Morgan

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  • C’Mon poor story there, 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Plus he had “punished the guy”. And should have stopped. The man with the gun did do the right thing. Commiting cold blooded murder will not bring back his dead wife or heal his daughter.
    I think you need to rethink these little anecdotes and find better material for your commentaries. POOR EXAMPLE. Eye for and Eye and we both end up blind- Gandhi, I may not have the exact quote.
    Ben-Radio guy from Philly

The Secret To Living In the Moment

Hall of Fame hockey goalie Bernie Parent is getting to be as good stopping worry as he was stopping pucks.

Here is Parent’s secret for living in the moment:

“I’d like to call myself a spontaneous person. When it feels right, I do it, at that very moment. Do you know what I don’t do? I don’t plan vacations a year ahead of time. The present moment enables you to enjoy what life is all about. Capture it, and let it captivate you. Slow down and enjoy your surroundings, nature, your family and friends, your health, and most importantly, yourself.

“If you start to worry about things that may happen 15, 20 years down the road, then your thinking shifts. You’ll constantly be worrying about your investments, health, etc. You’ll be living in fear. And the only way to walk away from this is to remove yourself from your own imagination and the uncertainties that you’ve created, and focus on this very moment”.

We prepare for the future with forethought.

We start worrying when it becomes fear thought.

We work to pay off our college loans and then a mortgage with car payments along the way.  It’s always something in the future.

We try to control as much as we can in life until, if we’re lucky, we discover that we can control virtually nothing.  The secret is letting go.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”
 Eckhart Tolle
 

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