The year Ted Williams became the first and only baseball player to hit for an over .400 batting average, he had the opportunity to sit out the final game of the season and guarantee that he would capture the record.

On September 28^th 1941, Williams went into the two final games (a doubleheader) batting .3996 that would have rounded off to .400 assuring that he would be the first player to ever hit .400 in a season.

His manager, Joe Cronin, suggested Williams sit out the last two games just to play it safe.

But Williams, the cocky 23-year old slugger in his third year with the Boston Red Sox said, “If I can’t hit .400 all the way, I don’t deserve it”.

Williams went six-for-eight including a homerun and a double to end with his record .406 batting average.

He didn’t even win the Most Valuable Player Award that year.  Joe DiMaggio won the MVP for hitting safely in 56 straight games.  Even Williams said, “Hell, I’d have even voted for DiMaggio”.

If you’re a golfer or like to watch golf on Sunday, going into the final day of competition on top of the other players is arguably not where you want to be.

More golfers – even the professional — lose the edge on the back nine of the final round by playing it safe.

People who invest in “blue chip” stocks for their future aren’t always guaranteed immediate protection from a prolonged economic downturn the nature of which we are seeing now.   And while safe stocks are an oxymoron, there are some that you can build a future on – just maybe not today.

It’s human nature to protect that which we have or have earned.

But playing it safe is a loser’s strategy.

So next chance you get, think of Ted Williams.

If you can’t do it, you don’t deserve it.

And more often than not you’ll achieve your goal but 100% of the time you’ll be living like an achiever.

A friend of mine would go to his desk, take out a piece of paper and write a letter to the person who angered him.

I realize that this is the digital era and paper is so – well, slow.

But he poured out his angry thoughts each and every time, signed the letter and put it in his top drawer where it remained until the next morning at which time he reread it and threw it in the trash can – unsent.

In fact, he never mailed even one angry letter this way.

All he needed was time – time to calm down, think things over and respond rather than react.

He saved a lot of friends and much unhappiness as a result.

Even with smartphones and instant access to each other, there are ways to do the same thing today.  

Pour out your thoughts and feelings and then save the draft to be reviewed the next day.   I’ll wager you will promptly drag that draft into your digital trashcan.

The cure for anger is the perspective that comes with time – even a little time — something that is very difficult to find in our Twitterific world.

Ambrose Bierce put it best:

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”.

We have the power to put anger on “pause”.

Lance Armstrong has now lost his 7 Tour de France titles and most of his major endorsements. 

And while advertisers argue about getting their money back, Armstrong has not yet publicly admitted that he was using illegal drugs that would have disqualified him from winning.

Armstrong is a cancer survivor and a leader in the commendable Livestrong movement that has positively inspired many others.

Making a huge mistake, or for that matter a little one, in private or in public comes down to this:  you can’t heal and return to a good place until you own the mistake.

Step 1 – Admit the mistake. 

Step 2 – Make up for it in some way.  That’s where the magic happens.

Shame often prevents owning up to life’s mistakes.  And hanging onto to them only postpones the healing.

As Alexander Pope put it:

“No one should be ashamed to admit they are wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that they are wiser today than they were yesterday.”

Former South Dakota Senator George McGovern who died last week at 90, was a failed presidential candidate losing in the Nixon landslide of 1972 not even carrying his own state – one of the biggest repudiations of a presidential candidate in history.

Later, McGovern lost his senate seat in 1980. 

But George McGovern picked up the pieces and created a post-political, non-partisan alliance with Senator Bob Dole to combat hunger.

McGovern, the polarizing anti-Vietnam war candidate found a new purpose in life by working for the common good with someone who held polar opposite views.

McGovern, the liberal.

Dole, the conservative.

But both shared growing up in the plains during the Depression and they knew the ravages of hunger.

McGovern, before his death said,

“To be honest that was a very productive time of my life.  Sometimes life works that way; you accomplish more in defeat than you do in victory”.

We fail every day in lots of ways, but the key is to remember that failure is a rehearsal for success and to welcome it as such.

Change the way you look at life’s failures – small and large – and it can make a meaningful difference.

Robin Williams says “Ah, yes, divorce … From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet”.

The multi-married Zsa Zsa Gabor counters, “I’m an excellent housekeeper.  Every time I get a divorce I keep the house”.

But Nirvana’s Curt Cobain nailed it, “Mom hates dad, dad hates mom, it all makes you feel so sad”.

I always thought that divorce was when two people could not get along with each other.

But I was wrong.

It is actually the other way around.  Divorce is when two people cannot get along with themselves and that’s when all the trouble begins for them, their partner and the unsuspecting children of their union. 

I wrote this, as a person who has experienced divorce, in my book.

Here are 5 revelations about divorce:

1. In divorce, you are actually divorcing yourself.
2. A lack of self-love and self-esteem paves the way for divorce.
3. Two complete people make one complete marriage.
4. Most good marriages are made or broken well before they occur in their families of origin.
5. Counseling often saves individuals and not marriages.

Helen Rowland put it a powerful way: 

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to”.

Out of bad marriages come good people who, when they commit to dealing with their family of origin issues, can then enter into healthy relationships.

Clint Eastwood has been back in the news lately with his most famous line:  “Make my day”.

Did you ever try to make someone’s day – but not at gunpoint?

There is a gentleman in South Jersey named Wynn Etter who from time to time when he crossed the bridges to nearby Philadelphia made someone’s day by doing random acts of kindness.

Wynn would drive up to a tollbooth, pay his toll and the toll of the unsuspecting person behind him.  As he drove away, you can imagine the shock and delight on the face of the commuter he waved to from his rearview mirror.

Often the driver behind would try to catch up and wave out of gratitude from the adjacent lane. 

Imagine how this one act made the day of two people?

The 14^th Dalai Lama said:

“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”

So go ahead, find a way to make your day – and someone else’s, too.  It may become habit forming.

It doesn’t have to be paying their bridge toll – especially at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey where it can be as high $12 per car.

There are lots of other ways – most of which do not cost a dime.

Add your stories of random acts of kindness below.

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You’re stuck on an elevator.

Guess who 63% of the men surveyed by Nielsen Entertainment Television would like to be stuck in that elevator with?

Not a Victoria’s Secret model.

Not even an athlete (only 15% said Eli Manning or some other athlete).

It was Jon Stewart.

And that’s because the next generation values humor above other qualities.

Not even music is as attractive to the next generation as humor.

88% said sense of humor was important to their self-esteem.

58% sent out funny videos to impress someone.

Humor has always been appreciated as a personality asset but if this research is to be believed, now more than ever, humor is a major component of our daily lives.

Maya Angelou said:

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.”

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In 1990 Steve Jobs skipped an Apple business meeting to take the person who would soon be his wife on their first date.

They met when Jobs spoke at a class at Stanford’s business school where Laurene Powell worked.

They exchanged phone numbers and Jobs was headed back to Cupertino for an important business dinner.

As Jobs is quoted as saying:

“I was in the parking lot, with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, if this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman? I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she’d have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we’ve been together ever since”.

Most of us are actually pretty good about setting priorities – that is, if we remind ourselves what is important.

And that’s the problem.  Life gets in the way.

So to take the litmus test for what is most important when almost everything seems important by remembering the words of Harry Lloyd:

“Success is only another form of failure if we forget what our priorities should be”.

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Future hockey Hall of Famer Jaromir Jagr had this advice to his young protégé, Philadelphia Flyers superstar Claude Giroux when Giroux hit a scoring slump in January of 2012:

“No matter how good you are, you are going to go through this. I was pretty good and went through it. When you are not the top [scorer], nobody really cares about it. You don’t score for 10 games? Nobody knows that.

“But when you’re a top guy, they expect you to score every day. I don’t worry about it. Nobody should worry about it”.

This does not mean don’t care.

It means don’t worry.

When we hit a slump in our lives, the more we bear down, the more things seem to get worse. 

When we’re on our game everything comes easy.

But when we’re in a slump, nothing comes easy.

The best way to get off the schnide is not by turning yourself inside out to break out of life’s losing streaks, but to stop worrying about it and go on.

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There was a wonderful fellow who was a disc jockey and later program director of WFIL in Philadelphia. 

Jay Cook was first hired to be the midday personality on Famous 56 and one of the things that is so memorable was to watch Jay work.  As soon as his microphone went on, he put a smile on his face.  Then he talked. 

Listeners heard a friendly and happy radio personality no matter what mood he may have been in and the audience ratings reflected his upbeat mood.

There are many advantages to smiling.

There’s no doubt that smiles change the way others see and respond to us.  But smiling also changes us.

You can’t be mad with a smile on your face.

Or down.

Or unhappy — as long as you try to smile.

Smiling is a real tool to bring about positive change initiated by you and not dependent on others going first.

Look for opportunities to smile today – and then watch the reaction of others along with the way smiling makes you feel.

As Tom Wilson said,

“A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”

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