Living Someone Else’s Life

Parents usually have their children in their hearts when they want what’s best for them.

Fairly or unfairly, parents advocate for what they think is best.  To me, that’s fair game because it is eventually up to us to decide what we think are the right choices in life.

What’s tragic is when we allow others to live our lives.  And it happens all the time.

Those around us may want certain things for us.  How we should handle our careers, relationships, family and even personal interests.

That’s why today is a good day to stop living someone else’s life and start living our own.

What’s amazing is what happens almost immediately when we consciously take control of our life’s path.

It doesn’t need to take illness, or misfortune to wake us up.  It’s the prospect of feeling as if a burden has been lifted from our backs so that we are free to be fulfilled and happy.

Perhaps you or someone you know have dedicated their lives to not disappointing someone else. 

The best way to accomplish that goal is not to disappoint yourself.

“Tis’ better to live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else’s perfectly” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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Do This Before You Give Up

When you’ve tried just about everything and have decided to finally give up, consider this.

Edison tried 10,000 times (unsuccessfully) before he invented the light bulb.

Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because he didn’t have any ideas.

Colonel Sanders tried to sell his chicken recipe to over 1,000 places before someone bit – seven years later he sold his fried chicken company for millions.

The first “Chicken Soup For Your Soul” was rejected by 33 publishers.

General Douglas MacArthur was turned down for admission to West Point not once but twice, but he kept on trying and was accepted the third time before his eventual march to military glory.

Henry Ford failed and went broke 5 times before he succeeded in making the Model T.

FedEx Founder Fred Smith got a C on a college paper outlining his idea for the successful delivery service.

And what was our excuse again for giving up?

Here are 50 more people who will inspire you to never, ever give up.

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life.  That’s is why I succeed” – Michael Jordan, cut from his high school basketball team.

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When You Feel Betrayed

Perhaps nothing is more devastating than when we are disappointed by those closest to us – our friends, family, or colleagues.

All our lives we always wanted to believe these people would be there for us – stand up and speak up for us and yet when push comes to shove, most do not.

This can be the final blow in a relationship and it can launch a lot of understandable but needless negative self-talk in our minds.

The rule of thumb usually is when you’re riding high and happy, everyone around you is there for you.  In fact, some of them may be there because of you.

But when adversity strikes, people often choose to save their jobs, reputations and relationships even as we may they should also stand for us.

I have found this to be a most effective way in dealing with the feeling of betrayal from others.

A study was done recently about who tends to be saved when a ship sinks.  The study focused on numerous ship sinkings where 100 or more lives were at stake.

The findings are dramatic.

The captain gets off the ship last, right?  And the children get off first?

That would be wrong.

According to the findings, the crew gets off first (they know how), then the men, then the women and yes, the children are last.

The human condition is for one under duress to save their own skin first.

When I think of this graphic example, although I don’t like it, it makes me realize that when someone stands for us, be grateful.

When others disappoint, remember the Titanic.

                  “A good friend will always stab you in the front” – Oscar Wilde

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Letting Go

It’s hard to let go.

Maybe that’s why the world is filled with control freaks.  Maybe we are even a bit of a control freak from time to time.

But if you’ve ever noticed, control freaks are some of the unhappiest people in the world.  They can’t help themselves.  They just have to get their way to be happy.

Unfortunately, it makes them unhappy and it drives others away.  Think about it: the price of a relationship shouldn’t always be giving in to someone else.

The irony is that we gain control by giving up control.

So for one day, try this challenge:  see yourself as an enabler of others.  Actually try to let them have their way as much as possible without compromising your morals or ethics.

People I know who are able to let go and free themselves of the stresses and irritations of life, are active enablers of others.

We must stand by our principles but we can also enable others to stand by theirs.

“Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way” — Daniele Vare

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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior

Why do we let others make us feel badly about ourselves?

And why do we forget good things almost as fast as we hear them?

This is backwards.

No one can make us think negatively about ourselves unless we allow.

And conversely, the most important weapon we have – that is rarely used – to combat the negatives comments, statements or attitudes we receive from others is remembering the good ones, erasing the bad ones immediately.

This is not to say we can’t work on being better – that’s actually life’s mission. More importantly, take control of the self-talk we allow in our heads.

Negative self-talk from others usually gets re-run by us – over and over again.

Pledge today to put a stop/loss on negative talk from everyone and let’s give ourselves a chance to be happy and successful.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt

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