How To Cure a Bruised Ego

The world’s top golfer, Rory McIlroy abruptly walked off the course during the recent Honda Classic.

He had enough of the bad round he was playing after only nine holes.  Maybe it was the new clubs.  Maybe the pressure of being 23 and number one at the same time.

Off he went, ignoring the long held code of golf that states a player finishes his or her round unless they have a persuasive reason for withdrawing.  And even then they must report it to the commissioner.

Golf isn’t the only place where a bruised ego gets in the way.

It happens to us – our families, at work.  Sometimes we have to deal with bruised egos of others and sometimes it’s our own.

Some players – arguably the majority in any given tournament – are playing for nothing.  They qualified to continue on but they can’t possibly win.

They are just playing for pride and to set a good example for others.

And therein lies the answer to how to cure a bruised ego.

Set it aside.

Get yourself under control.

Persevere for pride and to set a good example for others.

I always remind my bruised ego that knowing how to lose is practice for knowing how to win.

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The One Sentence That Changes Lives

My best friend was fond of saying, “Be the fine person you are”.

What a great thing to say to someone.

One line fits all because all of us need to be reminded that although we are fallible, we are also good people.  Little else needs to be said. 

Here are ways to make someone’s day if not life, by saying; “Be the fine person you are”:           

  • Forget the sermons, tell it to a child or teenager.
  • Instead of “I’m sorry” when someone is sharing their tough times, pick them up and inspire them with these 6 words.
  • Adapt it for work as a sincere form of encouragement:  “Be the fine worker you are”.  If you back it up with an example of why they are a fine worker, it is even more powerful.

And don’t forget the best use of “Be the fine person you are”. 

Tell it to yourself several times a day.

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Anxiety Attacks

Recent news reports highlighted that Generation Y, the next generation and the digital generation was proclaimed the most stressed generation.

No wonder anxiety attacks (or panic attacks) are on the rise.

It’s complicated and doctors and psychologists deal with undue anxiety in their patients all the time.

But in addition to medical remedies and changes in behavior, there is another way to look at anxiety that might be helpful.

Anxiety attacks happen when people care too much.

When they want to be perfect. 

Or want to please at home, in relationships or on the job.

Anxiety plagues people who care too much – a punishment for being too good that they don’t deserve.

So, just attempting to see anxiety in a different light can shed new light on what can be so debilitating to people of all generations.

If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t put yourself through the suffering that afflicts the anxious.  

So go ahead – care too much – starting with you.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath” – Amit Ray

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True Friends

Friendship may have been downgraded in the digital age what with “friending” people on Facebook and connecting to others using social media. 

There is nothing wrong with that, but the term friend should be reserved for someone who is there for you as you are for them.

A true two-way street.

A win-win between two people.

True friends are people who know when they are needed by others who bring joy and happiness into the lives of the people they care about most.  There is no possession on this earth – no car, no house, no bank account – more valuable than a true friend.

As a recent episode of the HBO Original Series “Girls” was playing out with the credits, “Open The Door” written and performed by Judy Collins was featured.

The words that hit home were:

“I’d like to be as good a friend to you as you are to me.”

When two people feel this way, they are true friends.

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Breaking a Dry Spell

Athletes have them – a time when they can’t seem to get a hit, score a goal or contribute positively to their team no matter what they do.

Actors have them – they might have been all the rage once and now they can’t seem to get a good part.

Singers can be one hit wonders or they can come back again and again and stoke their careers even over the span of different generations.


We all have dry spells.

When a hockey player can’t seem to score a goal through skill or luck, it is usually because they are getting so concerned that they grip their stick too tightly.  The same is true in others sports where trying too hard does not reap results.

Trying too hard to overcome adversity extends the dry spells in life that frustrate and confound us.

So, a few remedies:

  • Let go and lift the burden (get the monkey off your back)
     
  • Focus on doing what you do well without concern for results (in other words, focus on playing your game the best you can) with no distractions.
     
  • Lower expectations with the knowledge that dry spells eventually pass but they pass sooner when we lift the burden of bearing down too much.

“My motto was always to keep swinging.  Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging” – Hank Aaron

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