Deconstructing Anxiety

If we feel comfortable speaking to one other person, why does speaking to 5, 10 or more make us anxious?

Professional speakers say they address an audience as if they are talking to only one person – all of us can do that.

Why do we hang out with people who make us feel stressed when we could just as easily keep company with people who make us feel calm?

Or keep working in stressful situations when we could make it a priority to find other work?

Anxiety is like tape – when you come in contact with it, it sticks to you.  To get it off of you, you have to peel it off.

High expectations, social media networks, being hounded by digital devices is not going to stop anxiety, it’s going to make it worse.

Get a leg up on anxiety by peeling it off once you realize it is sticking to you.

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Seeking the Approval of Others

We spend our lives seeking the approval of others but why is it that when we finally get it, we are also most likely the ones to demean ourselves?

Starting with not being able to take a compliment.

Then acting less than sure that we can keep it up.

Letting doubts creep in.

Finally, criticizing ourselves even when others are not.

This isn’t uncommon, but it is unnecessary.

Once earned, no one can take away your successes and that includes you.

Turn every success into an IOU that you can use later when going through a rough patch.

Those who doubt themselves should not be seeking the approval of others before they grant it to themselves.

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Being Good Enough

Most of us aren’t good enough.

But that’s not terminal because we can always get better.

For some reason when we think we’re not good enough or worse yet when someone tells us we’re not, we wind up accepting it.

Good enough gets better by working harder, longer – never giving up.

By being less concerned with winning big, more concerned with being the best at what you do.

It’s a lifetime and that’s a healthy way to look at it.

We live in a lottery rich world – hit it big, get a break and win.

Truth is you win by being good at something.

Then better.

Best is relative.

We want a single – not hit it out of the park.

Good is doable and it’s more than enough.

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Embracing Leadership

Elephants at a three-ring circus used to follow each other around blindly for “The Greatest Show on Earth”.

People who don’t lead are like elephants in the circus.

They keep going ‘round and ‘round in a circle behind someone ahead of them thinking that they are leading when they are really following.

To lead, step aside and walk alone in a different direction.

Let the others think they are leading when they are really following.

But for you, simply stepping aside and heading somewhere else is an act of leadership.

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Downsizing Stress

We know too many people.

Have too many friends that aren’t really “friends”.

We try to do too much when less makes us just as happy.

We try to make too many people like and respect us when it is better to be exactly who you want to be and value fewer people who like us the way we are.

Instead of running from people who give us anxiety, we somehow embrace them and carry around more.

We think more is better but more doesn’t feel as good as one thing or one person that really matters.

We doubt ourselves when we should be our biggest proponent.

We can’t love everyone until we love ourselves enough to get out of the numbers game and build solid individual relationships instead of collecting friends who mean nothing to us.

Downsize stress by focusing on that one remarkable, unique person who spends all their time living in a smaller universe surrounded by the people who like us for being ourselves.

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