Mitch Prinstein, a professor of psychology at UNC Chapel Hill, has a new book called Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status Obsessed World.

There is more than one type of popularity and many of us are seeking the wrong kind. 

Likeability “reflects kindness, benevolent leadership and selfless prosocial behavior”.

People who are likeable have more lifelong advantages and health benefits.

Those who achieve popularity by gaining status experience greater unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

Those whose goals are to be likeable using the qualities mentioned above have greater satisfaction and success.

When we chase the butterfly of happiness it eludes us.

When we let it come to us by being ourselves uninfluenced by Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or social media, we avoid the black hole of wanting to be liked so much, it has the reverse effect of making us unlikeable.

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Read my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

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